I hope to see everyone at Frolicon! My pack is hosting the puppy events:
5/18:
11:30 Pup Play 101
4pm Pup Handling class
7pm Human-pets and Littles Petting zoo
5/19:
11:30 Pup Play 201
2:30pm Pup Mosh
5:30 Ma'am is teaching a class on Scarification
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Human-Puppy Taxonomy: Updated
I know it's been a long time since I've done any serious thinking out loud on ye olde puppy blog, but I recently had a lovely conversation with a guy about puppy play, and it got me in the mood to ruminate again...
I've been teaching or helping to teach human-puppy play classes for 5 or 6 years now at various clubs and events around the South. Over that time I've developed a taxonomy of human puppies, based on one originally began by Sir Loki, but which I've continued to adjust and expand. I wrote about this many years ago (here http://pupemrys.blogspot.com/2012/05/puppy-typology.html ), but I think I haven't published an updated version in a while. So here, updated, are my four types of pups (which roughly also yield four types of pup scenes):
The Slave-Pup
Chad
Helder (HelderHorror.com) summarized Stephen King’s The Shining thus: “In the book, the man in the tuxedo is
revealed to be Derwent, the corrupt playboy, jet-set owner of the hotel.
According to one of the ghost-guests, Derwent is bisexual, and he has a fling
with Roger in Cuba
The Play-Pup
Play pups tend to be the very opposite of slave-pups in terms of discipline. Play pups may be in D/s relationships, but they are likely to be ultra-low protocol, and tend to be relatively disinterested in Leather traditions/history. They may also be uninterested in, or even incapable of, deep puppy headspace.
Many play-pups, I also refer to as "Rave Pups," because they tend to mostly turn-out at rave/disco clubs more than traditional leather bars: young, twink boys who like to go out in sexy pup gear to dance, flirt, and act silly (and sometimes "party and play"). There are a growing number of pup-themed nights at various gay clubs around the country, e.g. Puppy Pound in San Francisco, Arf! in Seattle, and The Kennel in LA.
The Innate-Pup
Leather-dog Brue once said: “[Some] may experience a spiritual awakening, enlightenment or discover an animal spirit guide/totem when they go into pupmode. But for many, being a pup/Dog is who they are, it is their core being or soul… I would make barking/growling noises during sex. This had a tendency to unsettle some people and arouse other people even more. I definitely fantasized about being a dog when I was young. Where others wanted to be the soldier or Indian or whatever when playing, I wanted to be a dog: to romp, protect and be near someone. I remember I used to have vivid dog dreams (running in fields, chasing things, etc).”
Of course this taxonomy isn't anything definitive, and there are any number of other ways you could divide up the human-pup community. However, I've found it to be useful, especially for a Handler negotiating a scene with a new puppy. It can be quite disappointing if, e.g., a Handler is expecting a heavy degradation and obedience slave-pup scene and his puppy just wants to cut loose and be silly. This is not a bad framework for thinking about one's style of being a puppy and what one wants to get out of a puppy scene.
I've noticed that (especially) some slave-pups and innate-pups look down on play-pups and gear-pups as "not real," "fake," "superficial," "not serious," etc. I'm not supportive of this attitude. I always teach that everyone can find his own level to play at. Not every pup has to be an innate pup and sleep in a dog kennel every night. People can get out of pup play whatever it is that they get out of it... and leave the rest. I think this also cuts through the (frankly) bullshit debate over: Is puppy play sexual... or is it all about the headspace, or whatever. Yeah, for some it's entirely sexual. For others, it isn't sexual at all. Bottom line: There isn't one way to be a puppy.
I've been teaching or helping to teach human-puppy play classes for 5 or 6 years now at various clubs and events around the South. Over that time I've developed a taxonomy of human puppies, based on one originally began by Sir Loki, but which I've continued to adjust and expand. I wrote about this many years ago (here http://pupemrys.blogspot.com/2012/05/puppy-typology.html ), but I think I haven't published an updated version in a while. So here, updated, are my four types of pups (which roughly also yield four types of pup scenes):
The Slave-Pup
A slave-pup is someone who doesn't really go into puppy headspace, but is
forced to act like and be treated as an animal while retaining their human
awareness of that degradation in status. Slave-pups are submissives who enjoy being
humiliated by being “forced” by a Dominant to behave like a “less than human”
animal. “Get down on all fours and crawl, bitch!” Along with humiliation, discipline and obedience training are a focus in play with slave-pups. This is where pup
plays started – as a punishment for misbehaving boys in leather bars – but then
it turned out that some of the boys liked it… And so the gay scene (in the US) has shifted away from the slave-pup, and today this form of pup play is more common among het Fem-Domme BDSM. (In Europe, there are still many more gay pups who are into the humiliation and obedience aspect of pup play.)
One way to spot a traditional slave-pup: if you ask them how they got their pup name, and they reply, "My Master/Mistress named me."
A “play pup”
is one who enjoys pupping-out as a form of play: like with bondage, gear
fetish, boot-worship, or flogging.
They will “do a pup scene.” It’s essentially a role-playing game. These pups tend not
to go into a deep pup-headspace, and will often talk, laugh and joke around
during a mosh. I think for the play pup it’s primarily an opportunity to
let-lose, be goofy and uninhibited, and… well, playful. As my pack-mate Hunter once said:
“It eliminates the pressure to
talk. I hate talking. I hate vocalizing anything. Hell, I even dislike barking.
In pup mode, I can meet new people and go [past] awkward conversations of,
"Oh, I've been in the lifestyle this long, and my hanky is on this side,
and I'm un-collared at the moment, not due to lack of trying." I just
sniff them, and if the don't freak out, I get scritches.”
Play pups tend to be the very opposite of slave-pups in terms of discipline. Play pups may be in D/s relationships, but they are likely to be ultra-low protocol, and tend to be relatively disinterested in Leather traditions/history. They may also be uninterested in, or even incapable of, deep puppy headspace.
Many play-pups, I also refer to as "Rave Pups," because they tend to mostly turn-out at rave/disco clubs more than traditional leather bars: young, twink boys who like to go out in sexy pup gear to dance, flirt, and act silly (and sometimes "party and play"). There are a growing number of pup-themed nights at various gay clubs around the country, e.g. Puppy Pound in San Francisco, Arf! in Seattle, and The Kennel in LA.
An “innate pup”
is one for whom being a pup is a constant state… like being
a slave, or being a Christian, or being gay, or being a African-American.
It’s a part of who we are and how we interact w/ the world. When I do pup
play (get down on all fours and romp), it’s a matter of letting the hound that’s always
under my skin come forward and take over for a while. For me, pup play is a very shamanic kind of
thing. It’s a spiritual transformation
that is aided by the physical transformation (i.e. the body-suit and hood). Getting suited-up and pulling the hood on is
also a gradual, ritualistic shift in head-space. Mythologists like Joseph Campbell have
addressed the importance of our animal within, and the way civilization and
Judeo-Christian culture has divorced us from it.
Innate-pups are primarily interested in the puppy headspace: a form of self-hypnosis in which one can, for a brief time, really come to think one's self to be a dog, and lose language skills almost entirely. They may avoid moshes because it can be very hard for them to get deep into a puppy headspace in such a public setting.
How might you spot an innate-pup? The tend to be very specific about their breeds and strongly identify with these dogs as a kind of totem/spirit animal. (e.g. I have an Irish wolfhound tattoo, wolfhound knot-patterns on my wedding ring, and a dozen wolfhound-themed tee shirts in my closet.)
The Gear-Pup (or Rubber-Pup)
As a comic book geek and budding pervert, I
discovered (and fell in love w/) the work of Michael Manning, who I eventually got to meet
at Fantasm in 2003. But years before that, I
discovered his comics: which are super-super-HOT! And one of the hottest things he drew were
these amazing images of (often androgynous or gender-queer) rubber/PVC pups. Woof!
Gear puppies come more from the rubber fetishist tradition. Here, the aims are primarily erotic. The puppy gear itself (the hoods, the leashes and collars, the body-suits and harnesses) is a turn-on, and the purpose of pup play is to get one's dick hard and act as a stimulant for sex. Gear-pups often combine their pup play with bondage, edging, breath play, and poppers. The rubber-pup scene is much bigger in the UK and Northern Europe, but it is growing over here. However, as of 2018, I still tend not to run into a whole lot of fellow rubber-pups in the States.
Note: These
are not exclusive categories, but are like an overlapping vinn diagram. Many pups will fit into two or even three categories. My Hunter, e.g., is part slave-pup, part play-pup, and part innate pup... but he has no gear fetish side at all. However, Hunter calls me 400% pup because I fit very well into all four of these types, and can engage in all these types of pup play, depending on the context. (I think that might be one reason why I often get called on to teach puppy play classes: I understand all these different approaches to puppy play.)
Of course this taxonomy isn't anything definitive, and there are any number of other ways you could divide up the human-pup community. However, I've found it to be useful, especially for a Handler negotiating a scene with a new puppy. It can be quite disappointing if, e.g., a Handler is expecting a heavy degradation and obedience slave-pup scene and his puppy just wants to cut loose and be silly. This is not a bad framework for thinking about one's style of being a puppy and what one wants to get out of a puppy scene.
I've noticed that (especially) some slave-pups and innate-pups look down on play-pups and gear-pups as "not real," "fake," "superficial," "not serious," etc. I'm not supportive of this attitude. I always teach that everyone can find his own level to play at. Not every pup has to be an innate pup and sleep in a dog kennel every night. People can get out of pup play whatever it is that they get out of it... and leave the rest. I think this also cuts through the (frankly) bullshit debate over: Is puppy play sexual... or is it all about the headspace, or whatever. Yeah, for some it's entirely sexual. For others, it isn't sexual at all. Bottom line: There isn't one way to be a puppy.
Monday, January 15, 2018
2017 Year in Review, Part Two
Twenty more questions about my year...
21. How did you spend Christmas?
Saturday we had friends and family over to the
Treehouse. Unfortunately, Hunter,
Daniel, and Cuddles were all unable to make it, and that did make it a little
odd. Christmas day we spent with Poet’s
family, but bailed early to hang w/ Blaze and rock out to loud punk music: the
Stooges, the Ramones… It was: How the
Misfits saved Christmas.
22. Did you fall in love?
I still love my beautiful Owner and my wonderful pack-mates.
23. Have any one-night stands?
Had some sexy-fun time w/ a coupe of one-off guys at the
direction of my Alpha, including his Sir.
(Also spent 48 hours in latex having sexy-fun time w/ my Alpha.)
24. What was your favorite TV program?
We watched Hannibal
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time
last year?
So many new jerks on the public scene, I’ll just name-drop
Roy Moore and Harvey Weinstein as being particularly grotesque.
26. What was the best book you read?
March, the graphic
novel by John Lewis was probably the best new book. Also liked Deer Hunting with Jesus by Joe Bageant. But mostly I re-read a lot of favorites from Dune to ZMM to Doctor Faustus (T. Mann) to The
Sandman.
27. What was your favorite new music of 2017?
Discovered The Go-Betweens and Alice Merton’s “Roots.” Listened to a lot of REM this year.
28. Best new podcast?
Three: The Art History Babes, Unspoiled
(Sandman and Dark
Tower
29. What did you want and get?
An Irish wolfhound and a Spider-man zentai
30. What did you want and not get?
Tickets to Europe (we
decided to delay our trip one year).
Also, a new latex suit.
31. What was your favorite film of this year?
I missed: Logan, It, Get
Out, The Foreigner, Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women… as well as The Big Sick, Three Billboards, and Ghost Story… I missed a lot!
And yet, I did see, and really like: Shape of Water, Bladerunner
2049, Loving Vincent, Spider-man Homecoming, Star Wars: the Last Jedi, Atomic Blond, and Baby Driver… but I think my favorites were Hidden Figures and Coco . (Plus,
Poet and I went to see Close Encounters
on the big screen. Woo-hoo!)
32. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Forty-two. It was
Code Night at the Woodshed and I got to pup out! *wags*
33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably
more satisfying?
Some of my closest people had some rough times this year. I wish they had it a little better.
34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept
this year?
I got a fuck-ton of neckties from my uncle and a cool new
cap from my Owner.
35. What kept you sane?
“If I were a robot, I would short-circuit and explode… but
I’m human, so I drink.” – Cody Johnston
36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Either Ana Kasparian from TYT News or Grant Gustin from TV’s Flash (because his ass looks very nice
in that Flash costume)
37. What political issue stirred
you the most?
It’s something every fucking week: the Russian investigation, the Muslim ban,
Charlottesville, Roy Moore, pardoning “Sheriff Joe,” openly violating the
emoluments clause, taunting North Korea like a child, more/bigger
mass-shootings, stories of sexual harassment & assault, the most insane tax
bill ever, the Puerto Rico disaster, and the mountain of open racism and
bigotry!
38. Who did you miss?
Hunter. Not like I
didn’t see him at all, but we had to cancel 3 or 4 of our scheduled
get-togethers.
39. Who was the best new person you got to know?
I don’t know. I met a few new people (Neil, Blaze , Chad
40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:
This one is really hard b/c while 2016 was largely just shit
for most people I know… this year has been, in some ways, tougher… or at least
it feels like the year everybody is picking up the pieces and trying to keep
everything from just completely blowing up.
On the macro/political level things have never been worse in my
lifetime. And while last year sucked, at
the end of it I knew where things stood, but this year feels really shifty,
shaky and uncertain. I don’t know… I
worry more than I used to – about my job, my house, my friends, health, the environment... L
I guess the lesson is:
Hold on to your butts.
Friday, December 29, 2017
2017 Year in Review, Part 1
20 Questions About My Year
1. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
Sued someone (successfully) in small claims court. Took my Kitten to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in
concert.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you
make more for next year?
“I want to try this project whereby, in 2017, I revisit some
of my favorite/most influential books and documentaries more or less in order
of how I encountered them from roughly 1993 to 2003.” Largely successful!
Resolution for 2018: This
year I slightly took-up meditating again.
I’d like to keep that up and also get back in the habit of doing yoga
once a week.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Bishop and Gwynn. Plus, Oberon was born at the beginning of the year, and, at the
end of the year, my German friend is having a daughter any day now!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Uncle Joe
5. Did anyone close to you get married?
No, but R.M.
got engaged.
6. What places did you visit?
We didn’t go to many places this year, but we went to Brookgreen Gardens ,
the Knoxville Zoo, and the Asheville
Nature Center
7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked
this year?
I need new latex and zentai suits
8. What day from this year will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
Kitten’s pain ritual.
Also: Spending the day in Asheville
with my Alpha this summer – I really enjoyed that – and going hiking with him
in the mountains with him. (Technically
that’s two days w/ Hunter.)
9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
We won the “Most Spirited” float award in Charlotte Pride,
and I think I had something to do with that.
10. What was your biggest failure?
It wasn’t exactly a failure, but CAPEX did a puppy workshop
and mosh w/ an internationally known guest, and I tried to help promote
that…but none of the local pups or Handlers came out for it. That kind of sucked.
11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope.
12. What was the best thing you bought?
Oberon
13. Whose behavior merited a celebration?
Every woman who was a silence breaker and #MeToo – and everyone
who participated in the Women’s March on Washington
14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Easily Donald Fucking Trump.
I don’t even know where to start…
Also: the arborist we hired to take down a dead tree, took
our money but wouldn’t do the job, and we had to sue him in small claims to get
our money back. He was such a chauvinistic,
immature, vulgar, lying jackass!
(Basically: Donald Fucking Trump on a smaller scale.)
15. Where did most of your money go?
Oberon.
16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Oberon… Frolicon… The Pup event we had at CAPEX…
17. What song will always remind you of this year?
Brand New’s “Play Crack the Sky.”
18. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Beta to a wonderful pair of omega-pups (which is exactly
what I wrote in 2015, funny enough)
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Quality time with Hunter.
A lot of our scheduled time together this year got cancelled for one
reason or another, so he missed the CAPEX camp-out, pup class, the Halloween
party, Treehouse Christmas… None of it
was his fault; it was just that kind of year.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
House painting.
Actually, it wasn’t too bad. We
did a lot of repainting at both my mom’s old house and the newly acquired South Tower
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Frolicon 2017
For you to preview and
okay...
Frolicon is our favorite con every year, and this was one of
the best Frolicons I’ve had in years!
THURSDAY
I drove down w/ my omega. My lovely Owner, her
boyfriend, my Alpha, his boyfriend, and his Sir were all already on site.
(Did you get all that?) Actually, when I walked into our room, Alpha was
naked and in hypnotic bondage. His Sir is a professional erotic
hypnotist. Personally, I have always had a HUGE fantasy-fetish for
mindcontrol/hypno/brainwashing, so watching him control Alpha through hypnotic triggers all weekend was incredibly, fucking hot! Wolfhound was so envious! Also fucking
hot: my Alpha didn’t waste any time before he had me on the floor
worshiping his feet w/ my tongue and mouth. I was in beta-puppy heaven.
No special costumes Thursday night: just leather pack vests
and jeans. We went out to dinner: My family, three of our friends,
another pack-mate of ours, and two friends he brought… and Nitro.
Unfortunately, it was karaoke night at the restaurant we choose, so we had to endure
some painful sounds. Ug.
Back at the con, we went to some show… I can’t even remember what the hell it
was b/c I was back on the floor worshiping my Alpha’s feet the whole time – w/
him occasionally slapping my face to keep me in submissive headspace.
He’s been training me to fetishize his feet for about a year now, and the
training is really starting to take root: I see/smell his naked feet and I
start drooling and getting hard. I ended up back in our room for some
sexy fun w/ Alpha, his boyfriend, and his Sir. Alpha did the most amazing
job of staging a different kind of sexy-fun scene each night! This night
he reduced me to a brainless sex-animal. He started by getting me sucking
his alpha-cock. I should pause to say: I’m locked in chastity and at this
point it had been 144 days since Alpha had let me out to cum. Yes… 144
days. So obviously I was already a very horny wolfhound. So, I’m
sucking his alpha-cock and he spits on my face. I’m sucking cock and
feeling this huge, warm gob of spit slowly sliding down my face and eventually
reaching my mouth… fucking heaven! That sent me into such a
sexed-up subby headspace! For the next several minutes there, I couldn’t
think of anything but to obey and suck cock at Alpha’s command!
Seriously, if 10 strangers walked into the room and Alpha said, “Suck each
dick,” it wouldn’t have occurred to me to question or hesitate. My Alpha
put me to work rotating among sucking him, his Sir, and his boyfriend, until
they all got off (and I was left horny and frustrated, of course – locked in chastity
like good betas are supposed to be). That will probably go down as a
lifetime memory of one of the hottest sex scenes I’ve ever had! And it
was only Night One…
FRIDAY
I pulled on one of my latex body suits and my rubber puppy
mask, inserted my tail, and taught my Puppy Play 101 class w/ my Alpha and
omega playing on the floor in pup mode. Alpha managed not to hurt himself
or knock anyone out of their chair this year. Actually the class went
very well. We then did family photos in the dungeon sans Owner b/c she
had something else she had to go take care of.
We checked out the venders’ room before it was time to teach
Puppy 201. Both classes were well attended and, in fact, this was the
best 201 class we’ve ever done. Lots of great audience
participation! We received a lot of complements. Off-duty the rest of the night, I put on my black
Spider-man symbiote costume, and we tried to find some room parties but
failed. So we mostly hung out downstairs. Where were all the room
parties this year?????
Eventually, we ended up back in the room for Night Two of
sexy-fun. This time, Alpha had gotten me to beg for him to have sex his
Sir and not me. (Alpha can pretty much get me sexed-up enough to want whatever he tells
me I want, and at this time it was a matter of convencing me how much better it
would be watching him fuck another man.) So after begging, Alpha did have
sex w/ his Sir and had two orgasms, while I, his beta, sat on the floor and
watched, throbbing helplessly in my cock-cage. Alpha then allowed me to
sleep on the floor beside his bed, a frustrated but helpless little
cuckhound. *wags*
SATURDAY
We had to get an early start today b/c we co-sponsored the
Petting Zoo at 10am. There was a great turn-out! Lots of pups,
kittens, two or three lizards, a donkey, a horse-girl, and a hucow. Alpha
was the best Hnadler for us all. After that fun, I went to go spend time
w/ my lovely Owner. We wandered the venders’ room… until it was time for
her Endorphin Soup ritual. Alpha joined us, along w/ his boyfriend, and
my Owner’s boyfriend. I can’t really explain much about the ritual,
except to say it was very powerful and everyone involved was touched by
it. I was incredibly proud of my Owner! She amazes me.
Alpha and I had to run directly from the ritual to our puppy
mosh. Fortunately, my omega and Alpha’s Sir got everything set-up and
started. The mosh was fun and, once again, we had a good turn-out.
Now we were, finally, completely “off-duty” for the
rest of the con. I spent some quiet time w/ Ma’am while Alpha had some
quiet time w/ his Sir… and then I went and relaxed in the hotel’s hot tub w/ my
little omega. (My life does not suck.) We got out of the spa, met-up w/ Alpha and his Sir and,
after dinner, went down to the hypnotist show. The show was okay if a
little schlocky – basically the same show I’ve seen many times at Ren
Fair. The kinky stuff Alpha was programmed to do by his Sir was more
interesting. From there it was back to our room for more sexy-fun
time. Alpha chained me to the bed, removed my cock cage and beat me, bit
me, and edged me until I, finally, after 146 days, came HARD!
Eventually I came back to earth. Locked back in
chastity, I put on my rubber shorts and harness, we put the omega pup in a
straight jacket, and we went out to find room parties. We found
two. Drank, talked, reveled… Once, I let the omega wander off in
his straightjacket – Alpha fussed at me. We found him. At some point we
ended up back in our hotel room, and once again Alpha allowed his beta to sleep
on the floor at his bedside. *wags*
This little summery of events just doesn’t do justice to the
fun we had (and several important thing I’m omitting b/c they are
personal). My Owner was just awe-inspiring in her strength and always
looked beautiful. Hypno-controlled Alpha was oh-my-gods sexy. Omega was
not only all cute and adorable, but indispensably helpful in his service to me
and Alpha. Very good boy! And I love Ma’am’s boyfriend, Alpha’s
boyfriend… and meeting Alpha’s new Sir was delightful. Wonderful,
wonderful time with my family!
P.S.
But I’m not done! I have a post-credits
sequence. Few days after con, Alpha joined me for a date-night in Chattanooga , TN.
Summery: great sex, erotic hypnosis, transformative
ritual, brave and lovely Owner, wonderful chosen family, so much love,
successful classes and moshes… and more great sex! Woof! Wolfhound
is happy.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
2016 Year in Review, Part Two
Twenty more questions about my year...
21. How did you spend Christmas?
We spent Christmas home at the Treehouse this year; Ma’am
was road-weary and wanted to stay home.
We had a lot of great friends and chosen family come visit us between
Christmas and New Years including Poet, Cuddles, Hunter, Daniel, Randolph, and
more!
22. Did you fall in love?
I still love my beautiful Owner and my wonderful pack-mates.
23. Have any one-night stands?
Sex was very good – again – this year! Starting
with a really hot hook-up at MAL and continuing on though some very sexy scenes
with my Alpha, and along the way there was sex with a rubber boy in a vac bed.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Jessica Jones and Stranger Things were really impressive
and I finally got to see Avatar … but
I think I might have to go w/ Outlander as
number one b/c – Scotland !
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time
last year?
One jackass doctor; one lying sociopath in Tennessee ; the lazy, narcissistic,
pathologically lying, racist, man-baby who is our President-elect – and his
cabinet of horrors! (Too much hate in 2016!)
26. What was the best book you read?
Read lots of Scotland
stuff: Scottish history, travel, Rob Roy, Robert the Bruce… Outside of that, I
gobbled up both of Glen Wheldon’s books on Superman and Batman.
27. What was your favorite new music of 2016?
Leonard Cohen and David Bowie’s final albums were both
really good. We’ve also listened to a
lot of electro-swing this year.
28. Best new podcast?
I enjoyed binge listening to Now Playing while painting the kitchen ceiling. Also shout outs for Code Switch and StoryWonk’s Story
and Star Wars.
29. What did you want and get?
A second latex bodysuit…
and I wanted to get my Alpha into a sexy, latex bodysuit, and I got
that, too. (And even the omega got a
spandex bodysuit. Yay!)
30. What did you want and not get?
A president-elect who isn’t a narcissistic, misogynist,
islamophobic, racist man-baby
31. What was your favorite film of this year?
What a good film year!
Jungle Book, Captain America Civil
War, and Arrival were all A+
films! But my very favorite is Kubo and the Two Strings.
32. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Forty-one. Spent the
weekend in Chattanooga
with Hunter, John, and Daniel, and Daniel’s son had a psychotic break and
cussed out the people living in the ceiling.
33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably
more satisfying?
Less psychotic drug users in Chattanooga !
Seriously.
34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept
this year?
I got a really nice, second-hand leather vest in Glasgow , Scotland
35. What kept you sane?
36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
It could be Tom Holland’s Spider-man, but he might be a touch
too young for me. So, the winner is Catriana Balfe’s Clare Randall – two years
in a row for a strong, smart feminist protagonist. (But Tom Holland does look very nice in his
Spidy underoos.)
37. What political issue stirred
you the most?
Oh, god – oh, god – we’re all going to die.
38. Who did you miss?
Timm. Wish he could
have joined us in Scotland .
39. Who was the best new person you got to know?
I don’t know if I got to know any new people this year…? Except online.
40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016:
Fuck 2016.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
2016 Year in Review, Part One
20 Questions About My Year
1. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
Visited Scotland ,
got a doctor fired from our local hospital, marched with Cuddles in NC Pride,
and pissed off my friend, Daniel.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you
make more for next year?
“Do a new comic book review each week [and] write a couple
of adventures for a new game system my friend John is developing.” Nope.
Resolution for 2017:
I’d love to try a do-over on those resolutions… But really, I want to
try this project whereby, in 2016, I revisit some of my favorite/most
influential books and documentaries more or less in order of how I encountered
them from roughly 1993 to 2003. So I’m
going to re-read Dune, Zen and the Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance, Jung’s Man
and His Symbols, etc., and re-watch The
Power of Myth and the Day the
Universe Changed…etc.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sir Alan. We also
lost a lot of celebrities this year, from Alan Rickman to Leonard Cohen.
5. Did anyone close to you get married?
Andy.
6. What places did you visit?
7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked
this year?
Well, I didn’t lack a motorcycle this year, but I would love
to have a newer one next year.
8. What day from this year will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
All seven days in Scotland (good), and the night they
kicked us out of the ER then rushed Kitten into emergency surgery the next
morning (bad).
9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I was a helpful puppy for my Owner and for Poet. I got the asshole doctor who almost killed
Kitten fired from that hospital. I’ve
helped Poet clean and fix up his house to sell.
I tried to be a good tour guide puppy in Scotland . Helpful puppy was helpful.
10. What was your biggest failure?
Maybe not as helpful to one of my best friends whom I
inadvertently pissed off and then there was an unfortunate period of months
where he wasn’t really speaking to me. That was sad
11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I think I did okay – everyone else was in and out of the
hospital!
12. What was the best thing you bought?
Ma’am’s awesome sweater-coat, “Shadow Roses.”
13. Whose behavior merited a celebration?
I’m very proud of my lovely Owner. She began this year after
a brush w/ death feeling very afraid and unsure of herself… by the end of the
year I had seen her really conquer her fear: refusing to hide in the closet, bite
her tongue or “roll over and take it.”
14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Max’s (now ex-)boyfriend who turned out to be a nasty piece
of human garbage. …Oh, wait, that’s the same thing I wrote last year. How about a certain asshole ER doctor who
sent my Owner home to die? Those are two
men I wouldn’t mind seeing bad shit happen to.
15. Where did most of your money go?
16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
17. What song will always remind you of this year?
I really liked the song “Lost Boy” by Ruth B, “Let’s Hear it
for the Dogs” by the Proclaimers, “You Want it Darker” by Leonard Cohen, “Dairy
Queen” by Power Bottom, and “Speak When You’re Spoken to” by Spook School
18. Compared to this time last year, you are:
More afraid for the world… and also more of a whisky
drinker.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More time in Scotland . If we had one more day I would have loved to
see Loch Lomund and Castle Dumbarton.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Trying to keep the lives of my loved ones from either ending
or just going off the rails.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Reality has a Liberal Bias
Earlier in the year I saw Newt Gangrich being interviewed
and he kept talking about rising violent crime, and the reporter challenged him
by pointing out that violent crime rates across the country have actually dropped
during the Obama administration, and Newt countered with, “But people feel less
safe.” And he stuck by that, repeating
it more than once in the interview.
Answering actual facts only with subjective feelings, but asserted as if
they were of equal importance.
Much more recently, President-elect Trump claimed (with no
evidence at all – i.e. incorrectly!) that there were millions of cases of voter
fraud. (There were 4 confirmed
cases.) Mike Pence went on TV and
defended Trump’s baseless claim (i.e. lie!) by saying, “He’s entitled to his
opinion.” He said that three times in
the interview, and I just wanted the reporter to scream at him, “OPINIONS ARE
NOT FACTS!” An opinion is like, “Mushrooms
are gross,” not, “Millions of people committed voter fraud.” But the mainstream media is so obsessed with
“neutrality” (over factual accuracy) that they have created these nightmares of
false equivalences where opinions, tastes, internet conspiracy theories
(fucking Pizzagate!!), and baseless claims are put on the same level as actual,
provable facts. So still today 60% of
Trump voters believe Obama is a Muslim even though there is literally no evidence supporting this ridiculous claim… at the same time, more than that
number denies man-made climate change even though there is a fucking mountain
of evidence.
You probably heard about the pro-Trump, white nationalists
rally in DC at which the audience railed against the “Lügenpresse.” That’s an old Nazi term meaning, “Lying press.” The Nazis were (also) always railing against
the “lying press” b/c fascism can’t tolerate reality. Their whole system is built upon a heap of
lies, distortions and nutty conspiracy theories, so part of the trick of
fascism is to attack the press as liars and facts as “your opinion.” This is why one of my favorite sayings of
late has been, “Reality has a liberal bias.”
TYT Network posted an extended interview with a white
supremacist organizer. He was very
articulate and had clearly thought long and hard about his answers… but at some
point, of course, his views all break down for obvious reasons. Watching it, the third false equivalence of the
Trump-right became obvious: white Christians (mostly men) feeling victimized
and oppressed by liberal “political correctness” – acting like us asking them
not to be a bigot is the same as them taking away the rights of LGBTQs, blacks,
Muslims, and other minorities.
Newsflash: Canceling
Duck Dynasty because the stars are homophobic bigots is not equivalent to
denying same-sex couples the right to marriage.
Nobody has a special right to star in a TV show, but all consenting
adults do have the right to get married… or rent an apartment, or be served in
a restaurant, or use a public bathroom.
LGBTQ people aren’t asking for special, extra rights; we are only asking
to have the same rights straight people
have.
I think I first really noticed this trend with Kim Davis, that
obnoxious bitch who, as a Court Clerk, refused to sign off on same-sex
marriages because (she claimed) it was against her religion. You had all these asshole Christens (and, no,
I don’t think all Christians are assholes) rally around her claming that us asking
the not to impose on our rights and pleas treat us as equal was somehow us
oppressing them and us discriminating against them… you know, by removing their
power to discriminate against others.
This was so insane – and yet this warped resentment, this sense that the
white, Christian, patriarchal majority is somehow being oppressed and having
their rights trampled on simply by us asking them not to trample on others and
treat others as equals, this resentment became, it seems to me, the energy
driving the engine of the Trump machine.
In “What Was the Nerd? The myth of the bullied white outcast
loner is helping fuel a fascist resurgence,” Willie Osterweil lays out this
argument: “Today’s American fascist
youth is neither the strapping Aryan jock-patriot nor the skinheaded,
jackbooted punk: The fascist millennial is a pasty nerd watching shitty meme
videos on YouTube, listening to EDM, and harassing black women on Twitter.
Self-styled “nerds” are the core youth vanguard of crypto-populist fascist
movements… The myth of nerd oppression let every slightly socially awkward
white boy who likes sci-fi lay his ressentiment at the feet of the
nearest women and people of color… The Gamergate movement… engaged in
widespread coordinated harassment of women and queer people in the gaming world
in a direct attempt to purge non-white-male and non-right-wing voices, all the
while claiming they were the actual victims...”
So this is the third big false equivalence coming from the
Trump-right. You have these groups
(whites, men, Christians) who have been on top for a long time and now they are
pissed off at being asked to let others (blacks, Muslims, LGBTQ, Latino, women)
be on equal footing with them… and they twist it around so that THEY feel
victimized. And I think this lies at the
hart of the Right’s hatred for “political correctness” – which to them is some
kind of oppressive infringement on their rights, and to us simply means, “Hey,
don’t be a dick to people, okay?”
Someone points out to you that it’s not cool to make fun of disabled
people or use the n-word, and you respond like you are the one being
victimized!?
These two things are not equivalent! If someone with more power and more privilege
punches down on you or oppresses you or denies you the same rights and freedoms
they enjoy then you are being victimized.
If someone with less power, privilege and clout than you demands that
you stop victimizing them, that does not make you a victim! You do not get to feel righteous anger at not
being able to punch down on people; people getting punched down upon do get to feel righteous anger at you
for bullying and oppressing them. Because
the oppression you (white, Christian, straight man) feel is in your head (“War
on Christmas!?” Seriously?) While the oppression and bullying and double-standard
experienced by African-Americans, Latinos, Muslims, LGBTQ people, and even the
female half of the population) exists in actual reality.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Don't Bring Feelings to a Fact Fight
I wrote in my last post about my intolerance for Trump
supporters, concluding that valuing tolerance does not mean tolerating EVERYTHING
and that some things remain intolerable.
I still have more to say and think through as I continue to process what
I think and how I feel. I’m going to do
these in a series of posts and try to impose some logic and order to it.
Here, I want to pick up the thread that tolerance is not the
same as moral relativism and my impatience with Trump supporters drawing this
objectively absurd and false equivalence between Trump, Pence and Bannon on the
one side and Obama and the Clintons on the other. (For more on that, I highly recommend this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz_o0LgP8xQ
)
The moral relativists want to say that all views no matter
how extreme and destructive are the same, so the things Trump (“waterboarding
and worse”), Pence (advocating for conversion “therapy” to be used on gay
kids), Bannon (didn’t want his kids going to private school b/c there were “too
many Jews”), Sessions (said white lawyers who defend black clients are “race
traitors”), and Flynn (said Islam is a “cancer”) say and advocate is all
somehow no worse than advocating for clean energy, a path to citizenship, and
universal healthcare.
I accept there is a realm for legitimate political
differences – stemming from policy differences, questions about the best way to
achieve goals, trying to find the correct analysis of facts… but also basic
political philosophies about rights, the duties of citizens and the duties of
government, etc.
However, taking all of that into account, I can still be a
“moral realist,” which means there are actual, objectively right and wrong (or
“better and worse”) answers to moral questions – testable and provable based on
data-driven, real world evidence!
Let me use homosexuality as an example. We can prove w/ actual, fact-based evidence
that pedophilia is bad: it traumatizes and harms its victims. But objections to homosexuality are always
reducible to misinformation (“Gays are all pedophiles”), or non-provable
opinions based in either personal taste (“That’s gross”) or religion (“That’s a
sin”), neither of which counts as fact-based evidence. This is why marriage equality won in the
Supreme Court: because they couldn’t offer any evidence based in the real,
shared, observable world as to any harm it would cause.
After Texas
de-funded Planed Parenthood, the deaths of low-income women from complications
in childbirth DOUBLED! Those are actual,
real deaths the Republican Party caused – not kooky hysteria over make-believe
Obamacare “death panels.” That is fact
based evidence.
Sam Harris wrote: “Meaning, values, morality, and the good
life must relate to facts about the well-being of conscious creatures – and, in
our case, must lawfully depend upon events in the world and upon states of the
human brain.” (The Moral Landscape, 2010)
Trans rights to access public bathrooms? Fact:
There is no case anywhere in U.S. history of a trans person
molesting anyone in a public restroom or someone posing as a trans person to
molest someone in a public restroom even though some large cities and some
whole states have had trans bathroom rights in the laws since the ‘90s. Feeling: “But allowing trans-women to go into
the ladies room makes me feel scared or uncomfortable.” Those two things are not equivalent! You morally can’t inhibit people’s rights and
impose an undue burden upon them just because you might FEEL uncomfortable –
not when those feelings aren’t based in any real world evidence… and are
actually contradicted by the evidence. (“I
don’t want to share bathrooms and water fountains w/ black people because – ew,
gross!”)
Sex education? Every
study has shown that districts with abstinence only sex “education” have higher
rates of teen pregnancy than districts w/ comprehensive, science-based sex
ed. How you feel about that or your
religious beliefs (or what the Pope says God says) doesn’t count the same as
actual, objective evidence. You’re
bringing subjective feeling and opinion to a fact fight.
(Incidentally, as a moral realist, I don’t claim there is
only one right answer to a particular moral problem; only that, based in
objective evidence, some answers are provably better than others. In some cases there may be many answers that
are good… but almost always
there will be some answers that can be clearly shown to be wrong.)
Why am I making a big deal of this? Because just like the normalization of Donald
Trump (trying to make him, Pence, and Bannan look like the conservative
equivalents of Obama and Clinton) is a false equivalence, so too are many of
the arguments conservatives bring to the table where they try to argue from
opinion or feeling. I am not
anti-religion, but what your Bible says (for example) isn’t equivalent to
actual real world data about health, happiness and well being. All that view is, is an implicit moral
relativism – b/c if your subjective beliefs and feelings count as much as
actual facts… well, then so does everyone’s, and fuck all chance of finding an
answer!
In my next post, I plan to address a third false equivalence
I’m sick of: straight, white Christians men feeling victimized and oppressed by
liberal "political correctness" – acting like us asking them not to be a bigot is
the same as them stepping on the rights of women, LGBTQ people, blacks, Muslims and other
minorities.
Friday, November 11, 2016
I won’t be Neville Chamberlain.
I’ve written so many pages trying to analyze and process
what has happened to our country/world… too many to post. I think what is most immediately on my mind
however, is a question I’ve been wrestling with for a year: How do I relate to
my friends and family who support Trump-Pence and their platform? Ranging from casual friends to my own brother
to my wife’s parents…
According to a survey I saw (I think on Vox), in 1964,
around 30% of Republicans and Democrats thought the other party was actually a
danger to the US .
In 2010, it had risen up to almost 80% of both parties. That is BAD for
democracy. It’s okay for the parties to
oppose and work against one-another. But
when you hate and fear one-another, that can’t happen in a healthy
democracy. We, on the left, should not
hate and fear the GOP, and visa-versa.
Seth Myers talked about how, after the election, he felt
sadness, anger, and fear, but then he realized that these were the same
emotions a lot of Trump supporters felt about Obama and Hillary and, “it would
be wrong of me to think that my emotions are somehow more authentic than their
emotions.” I thought about that…
But he’s wrong.
Outrage at the election of Obama is not morally equivalent
to outrage at the election of Trump.
Because we of one party should not view the opposition as a serious
danger to the country… unless it actually is.
And, therein, lies the rub.
Recently, my Alpha posted this: “Fuck all this "I don't unfriend people
over political views" shit. If your political views include being pro genocide,
anti equal rights…, hating gays, hating women, hating immigrants (and are
ignorant enough to think a great wall is coming free of charge from Mexico), or
thinking "I'm in favor of conservative economic policies, so I'm voting
for this asshole who isn't qualified to run a country" [Note: Trump will
be the first US President who never served in either public office or the
military.], seriously, fuck you. I really want you to tell me if you supported
him so I can avoid you forever… Like,
Stein believes in magic crystals and Johnson is libertarian, but I don't mind
people voting for them as they aren't terrible, terrible people.”
Likewise, I can have friends who supported Bush-Cheney or
voted for Romney or McCain. I disagree with them – but those fall within the
realm of normal political disagreements.
Trump is NOT a normal case! Trump
is a dangerous narcissist with obvious sociopahic tendencies (total lack of
empathy) who has casually talked about murdering innocent people (killing the
families of terrorists), bragged about committing sexual assault, said he will
have people tortured (“waterboarding and worse”), and praised totalitarian
dictators as examples of great leadership.
Trump is NOT the conservative equivalent to Obama or the Clintons (that
would be more in line w/ Romney, McCain or George H.W. Bush). No, Trump is such an extreme case that the
Left equivalent of him would be like Mao or Stalin.
To those who say: “To
all posters... Please STOP trying to put this country in Civil War... Don't try
to divide this nation more”… You are
basically Neville Chamberlain. People
who are posting junk like, “Apparently tolerance and compromise only applies to
others,” are making a (deliberate?) false equivalence. Asking for tolerance for the views of a
typical, centrist left-moderate like Obama or Clinton (universal healthcare and
family leave, for instance, are common, ordinary things throughout most of the
civilized world) is not equivalent to asking to tolerate the views of a man who
talked casually about murdering innocent people, said “laziness is a trait in
blacks,” argued for greater nuclear proliferation, said Mexican-Americans are
drug dealers and rapists, said he will order torture, ban all Muslims from
entering the country, etc. Fighting for tolerance does not mean fighting to
tolerate EVERYTHING. Tolerance is not total moral relativism. Some things
remain intolerable.
I will not be tolerant of your support of Trump. That has moved too far outside of the normal
political disagreements that are actually (usually) healthy for democracy. I won’t be tolerant of it any more than I
would tolerate white supremacists, fascists, or ISIS . There is a line beyond which you are no
longer welcome at my table.
Monday, June 20, 2016
There's No Smiling in Old Guard!
For my friends who are interested in leather history and protocols, I recommend the latest episode of the NoSafeWord show. Their topic is Old Guard vs. New Guard, and its discussed by two, young puppy-boys who have experience in both settings. It's very good. The only thing I dislike is the use of "Old Guard" - I'd rather say "Traditional" Leather, meaning that type of style that developed among guy men in late '60s and '70s, whereas "THE Old Guard" refers to specific (and mostly mythical) group of men from the '50s and '60s. But, that aside, I think this is a great conversation about the traditional vs. modern leather scene. The big difference being whether or not you're allowed to smile in photographs...
The conversation on Old vs. New leather starts about halfway through the episode , if you want to skip to it.
http://nosafeword.com/posts/ug12_old_guard_v_new/
The conversation on Old vs. New leather starts about halfway through the episode , if you want to skip to it.
http://nosafeword.com/posts/ug12_old_guard_v_new/
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Frolicon 2016
Time again this year, as I have traditionally done each
year, for my Frolicon post. I always
have to, first, re-state that this is always our favorite con of the year! There’s just nothing else like Frolicon!
THURSDAY
Thursday was my 9th wedding anniversary with my lovely
Owner, Shdwkitten! She was already down in
Atlanta w/ her boyfriend, Poet, a
day ahead of me. So Thursday I joined them, with
my omega pup, Cuddles, in tow. After the
omega and I got checked in, the four of us hung out in Ma’am and Poet’s room –
and started drinking… and playing with squeaky toys! *wags*
The four of us went down to a party in the Presidential Suit
and hung out w/ a couple of old friends… and I gave away my squeaky ball to an
adorable, little bio-doggie someone had brought to the party.
FRIDAY
Hunter, our Alpha-pup, arrived Friday morning, joining me
and Cuddles in our room. Also, our
pack-mate Loki was in-town, so he and his brother, Nitro, joined us at Frolicon
for the day. We all went out for
breakfast: Alpha, beta, omega, Loki, Nitro, my Owner, and her boyfriend. It was a fun time. I love this new hotel location; so many food
options w/in walking distance (and a liquor store right across the street).
We returned to the hotel about 11:00, and I went up to our
room to change and prep for my 1:00 Pup Play 101 class… and got a frantic call
telling me, “You class is RIGHT NOW!” So
Cuddles and I grabbed shit and rushed downstairs. Apparently they changed the class time (but
didn’t update the website), so I arrived about 20 minutes late to my own
class. I felt bad about that – but there
was a large turn-out, and somehow I managed to cover almost everything in my
outline in just an hour. And I had
Cuddles and Hunter in pup mode while I talked, and they were great! And Hunter only knocked one person out of his
chair (Nitro) and only injured himself a little. So, despite the late/frantic start it was
good class.
After that, we changed into gear/costumes so we could do
family photos in the dungeon. I got into
my new latex Dainese suit. They always
take good photos at Frolicon – the shitty part is that it takes like 6 months
before you get your photos (if ever).
Still, it’s a tradition…
I soon had to change out of my latex skin because we were
hosting a puppy mosh at 4:00. So it was out of latex and into spandex. The mosh was fucking pawesome! We had 11 or 12 pups and one kitty cat. It was very high energy. Every time it started to collapse into a
cuddle pile some pup would rush and pounce, and it would explode into activity again. It really was one of the most fun moshes I’ve
ever been in! Hunter, in particular, was
in perfect Hunter-like form. By the end
of the mosh all the Handlers (except Loki) were scared of him. He was a terror! LOL. I
really can’t overstate how fun this mosh was.
After the mosh, I grabbed food with my packmates before we
went to the swimming pool to meet up with friends and fellow pups. The pool was fun – but cold, so we didn’t
stay in it long. (Atlanta was unseasonably chilly.)
Friday night arrived and that meant more alcohol and room
parties! Cuddles got into his sexy Robin
costume and I got my Nightwing on (didn’t realize the Bat-Dance party was
Saturday night), and we each grabbed a bottle of rum-and-coke, and, along w/
our Alpha, we headed down to the Ren fair party first and then up to the jocks’
“frat party.” There was a bed w/
restraints at the frat party, so Alpha chained me down and teased me for an
hour. He’s had me locked in chastity for
almost a year, and at this point it’d been 12 days since the last time he
allowed me to cum, so I was very horny.
Alpha edged me for about an hour, and also invited others at the party
to touch, pet, and stroke me. (There’s
something very hot about being tied down, helpless, in a room full of strangers
and hearing the words, “You can touch him if you’d like.”) At one time I had four different people
touching me. It was so wonderful! Woof!
And so it was a very horny Nightwing that Hunter led back to his hotel
room… and locked back into chastity. :o
SATURDAY
We had to get up painfully early for the Puppy Olympics at 10 am. I
got into my sexy rubber gear for the dog show.
The Olympics we great – especially considering this was our first time
doing this. It came about because last year our friend Gator had a laugh playing w/ my pack when we stopped by his booth in
the vendor’s room, and he was inspired to put this together for the pup
community. We had 11 pups compete in the
contest. Everybody got an engraved
doggie bowl to take home. I won first
place in the appearance and trick category and my pug, Cuddles, won second
place in agility course. Congrats to the
fantastic Archon who won first place!
The obstacles Gator had built were really cool. The whole thing was lots of fun. *wags*
After that, I walked over to the mall for sandwiches w/ Poet,
Kitten, and my two packmates. We
returned to the con hotel and wandered.
I was stopped a few times so people could get pictures of/with the
pretty rubber pup.
The afternoon brought my Pup 201 class, which Hunter helped
me with. I like the material we cover in
this class, but it was a little rocky b/c only two of the people in there had
been in the 101 class, so… And we
somehow sacred away two “vanilla” couples.
I call them “vanilla” b/c I’m not sure they were in the right con… I don’t know… Hunter said something about
pouncing his Handler and having sexy-fun time, and something caused the four of
them to look scandalized and walk out.
Maybe they were homophobic or just prudish, I don’t know…
Ma’am didn’t make it to the 201 class b/c she was getting
the make-up done for her Famine costume.
She looked amazing! Actually ALL
of my Owner’s outfits looked great.
Every time I saw her she had changed into a different costume, and every
time she was beautiful! She is a
stunner, and I am a lucky wolfhound! *wags*
The 201 class was the last of my pack’s obligations, so I
finally felt “off duty.” We did some
wandering w/ my Alpha keeping me on-leash.
I was still in full rubber, and a couple of more people asked for
photos.
We went to the petting zoo – which we ended up having to
jump in and help with, back “on duty.” We
helped them move in floor mats, we provided treats and water, Hunter acted as
Handler making sure the human-animals stayed hydrated and helping facilitate
interaction between the human-animals and people. Cuddles and I were there in pup-mode, along
w/ a couple of other dogs, some cats, a donkey, and a lizard. It was fun.
After the zoo, I went up to the room to peel out of my
latex. I went and found my Owner, and
then she, Poet, the pug, and I went to the lip-synch contest. That was so much fun! Next year Hunter and I are going to do it and
already know what song we are doing.
This is exactly why Frolicon is our favorite con. It’s got a dungeon, it’s got theme parties,
it’s got a burlesque show every night, it’s got other silly (adult) shows like
stand-up comedy, stage magic and live music, it’s got great classes (kink and non-kink),
it’s got a round-the-clock gaming room, the vendors' room has a guy selling comic
books right next to a guy selling floggers, there’s cos-play, and it attracts a super-diverse
crowed… It’s just the best!
So, after the lip-synch contest, Cuddles and I were going to go to the
Bat-Dance party. We had just changed into out Nightwing and Robin costumes –
but then Hunter comes into the room and announces that we are going to the
American Horror Story party in the jocks’ room instead. Yes, Sir!
So we changed clothes. I pulled
on my rubber skin w/ the green racing stripes and a leather gimp hood… and
Hunter got into my old PVC body suit and my rubber gasmask. Woof!
I mean WOOF! Super-sexy
Alpha-pup. Our pug pulled on his blue
zentai… and Hunter leashed us and took us downstairs. This time it was the omega’s turn to be on
the bed. We held him down and teased him
and invited a couple of other people to join us. It was fun and sexy! I kept one paw petting Cuddles and one paw
petting Hunter. Officially: The
stupidest thing I’ve ever done is to not lend that PVC suit (which is a little
small for me – I’m 6’3” and I think Hunter is 6’) to Hunter years ago. I haven’t worn it in 2 or 3 years; it’s been
sitting in my closet. What the fuck was
I thinking!? He was hot as fuck! Woof!
Between Hunter in that and Cuddles in his zentai, I was horny as all
get-out. And still locked back into
chastity and not allowed to cum… :o
Aw, well. That night
was a fine ending to a great con. The
event was great, the hotel was great, the puppy track was a success, I loved spending time w/ friends – new
and old – and most of all being w/ my wonderful family and pack who I love.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
I am Not a Switch, Dom, or Top... I'm a beta!
Recently, I was at a kink community dinner party w/ my
omega, Cuddles. Nothing formal, just a
bunch of kinky friends and chosen family having a pot-luck, but before we
started, our host explained the protocol would be for Doms to get their food
first (either get it themselves or send their slaves to fix them a plate) and
then the subs could get their food. And
then, our host turned to me and said, “You can… go whenever.”
I was actually confused for a moment. Being a sub, I was already taking it for
granted that I’d go as part of the second wave, after the Doms all had their
food on their plates. Then, in a second,
my brain caught up. Oh, I have a collar. But I’m
here w/ Cuddles and he’s wearing my collar.
So, they think maybe I’m a switch, and I’m his Dom…?
However, I’m not a switch, Dom, or Top. I’m a beta pup!
“Puppies fuck up everything.” That’s the running joke Justin St. Clair (author of Bark!)
started, by which he points out how most of the usual M/s and Leather rules get
thrown right out the window as soon as pups arrive on the scene. It’s true.
Most everything that is a given in M/s-Leather world is all screwed
around in the pup community.
I think for most of the community, the easiest protocol to
understand is: if a boy has a collar on then he is owned by someone. He is property. However, most puppies regard a dog collar (and
sometimes the dog tag as well) as part of their gear. It’s something that helps w/ headspace. Many “stray” pups who are un-owned wear
collars, and some pups wear “pack collars” even if they don’t have an
Owner.
One convention that is somewhat common in the pup community
– although hardly universal – is that a collar w/ a lock signifies ownership. Personally, I really like this approach. In my pack, two of the six puppies wear
locked collars, me and Loki, and we are also the only two who are owned
property. The collar Cuddles wears was a
gift from me to him, beta to omega, but it’s not a “collar of ownership” like I
wear or like Loki’s locked chain. It's more like a collar of protection and mentoring. I
consider him my omega, but I don’t consider Cuddles my property. I don’t own him… I just surpass him in the
pack order and have a very close beta-omega relationship w/ him.
omega pup Cuddles, beta pup Emrys, and Alpha pup Hunter
Which brings us to the whole Alpha/beta/omega thing. Typically, this is how modern pups sort
themselves out. Traditionally puppy play
began in gay leather bars and clubs as a way to punish and humble boys. So the boys were submissive bottoms,
presumably owned and collared by a Daddy or Master, and puppy play was an activity they were “forced”
to engage in. In this traditional
leather model, the relationship dynamic fit w/in the usual definitions of M/s
or D/s… and some pups still fit this
mold. (We call them “curs” or “slave-pups”… and I tend to find
them more common in the hetro-FemDomme community than among gay pups.) However, the majority of modern
puppies sort themselves out by Alpha, beta, and omega and doesn’t really fit
w/in this traditional M/s or D/s mold… and part of the issue is that, while M/s
and D/s exist as diametric poles, Alpha/beta/omega exist as points long the
same continuum.
I used to define Alpha pups as pups who are
Dominants/Sadists/Tops. In the course of
the last year, now having the irrepressible HunterGreenee as my Alpha, I’ve
come to re-think this. Today, I think of
Alpha more as pack leader. So f you ask me
if a lone pup who is a Sadistic Top is an Alpha… my answer would, now, tend to
be, no. Because now I see this title as
more of a relationship thing, so I think you kind of have to have beta pups
under you to be an Alpha. In much the
same way that (e.g.) you can’t call yourself an Owner if you don’t have
property you own, right?
So, Alpha is the dog in charge of the pack, the leader, the
one who makes the decisions and issues the marching orders. And, yes, he’s probably also a Dom and a
Sadist – but that’s not, I would argue, the defining trait of an Alpha.
Hunter being all in charge
A beta, like me, is often involved in training and caring
for the omega and then may also offer advice to the Alpha. Sometimes betas step-in for Alpha and then
sometimes betas haul the luggage up to the hotel room along w/ the
omega.
Some define omega as the most submissive of the pack… but I
see it just as often as the one who is low-pup-on-totem-pole more by virtue of
being youngest, newest, or most inexperienced.
I like to explain my relationship w/ my omega as being like big
brother/little brother or mentor/mentee.
We’re both submissive. Neither of
us is a D-type, but I’m the more mature dog, the more experienced, and higher
up in the pack order.
My FetLife profile makes it clear enough. It says:
owned and collared by shdwkitten
Protecting CuddlyPup
submissive of HunterGreenee
“Protecting” Cuddles is a pretty accurate translation, in my
mind, of the beta’s role towards his omega.
(I also offered Cuddles, as an option, “mentoring” – he chose
“protecting.”) I am looking out for him. I do appreciate it, as a courtesy, when
people ask me, “May I?” before they do this or that or whatever to him… but I
don’t require that or get bent out of shape if I don’t get asked. (As long as they ask him!) Likewise Cuddles doesn’t need my permission
before he plays w/ someone or hooks-up w/ someone. That’s all him. I offer advice, I try to steer him in a
positive direction and foster his growth, and I do look out for his safety… but he’s not my property,
I’m not his Owner, and we’re both subs (although I’m a much better behaved
submissive than he is - pugs are brats!)… and, at least in bed, he’s actually more of a Top than
I am. (Thank goodness b/c my pug is
hung!)
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