Monday, October 29, 2012

Status Changes

So… my family has undergone a significant change as of Saturday evening.  Some of you reading this blog who follow Shdwkitten on FetLife have already seen the note she posted, but I’d like to re-post it here for those who haven’t:

“As the seasons must change, as the leaves on the trees must accept change, so must we as people accept change.  Sometimes it is bad, sometimes it is good, and other times it is just something we must do. It is neither good nor bad, but it is necessary to continue.

“Snow and I have come to a cross road in our journey where we must decide to accept that change is occurring for both of us.

“For two years I have been blessed to call her my partner, for over a year I have had the honor of calling her my wife and I hope for the rest of my lifetime I will be gifted with the pleasure to at least be able to call her my friend.

“Snow and I are changing. We both have new journeys facing us and we both must embrace those new journeys. Sadly though, these changes mean that we can no longer be married at this time. This is not an ending for us though as much as it is a set of changes.

“I love her dearly. Snow is an amazingly beautiful woman inside and out. I remain fiercely protective over her. I hope she will always allow me a place in her life.

“Please respect both her and I through this difficult time. Please don’t cover us up with a thousand questions or speculate on what may or may not be happening. This is hard, painfully so for both of us as we try to figure things out.

“Instead of rumors and negativity, I ask that you provide love and support and happiness for us as we undergo our necessary changes right now.”

I thought that was beautifully written.  One of her friends who is twice divorced contacted her to offer comfort, and he said, “I wish either of my ex-wives spoke of me that way.”  Snow and Ma'am are both wonderful people.  I love them both and want to see them both happy.  As I understand, they mutually agreed that they will be happier as loving friends than as wives.  Of course it’s a difficult transition.  My Owner is still processing, and she’s having her ups and downs… but (as she put it herself) sometimes change is necessary, and the goal is for everyone to be happy.

As something of an aside, only days ago my best friend underwent a similar shift in his relationship status.  He and his boyfriend of one year decided to shift to being friends (w/ benefits) and date other people.  They had been living together, but my friend moved out.  It’s another situation where they are both wonderful people, and I wish them both happiness.

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