Friday, December 26, 2014

2014 Year in Review (1)

I have used this format at the end of each year since 2004.  So, let the tradition continue.  I’m going to break it up in two posts.

40 questions about my year (Part One):

1. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
I went to Chicago’s IML/Woof Camp.  I judged the NC Leather Contest (and was the first pup to pup-out at the Charlotte Woodshed).  I started reviewing comics for Thoughtful Mirth

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
“Sketch in my new leather, hand-made sketchbook at least once a week.” Nope!  I would resolve to try that again next year, but that’s been trumped by a resolution to do a new comic book review each week for Thoughtful Mirth which I started in September of this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Branwen, our husky/lab

5. Did anyone close to you get married?
Two of my adorable pack-mates had a really lovely hand-fasting ceremony: eclectic Celtic/Pagan/Leather-pup traditional

6. What places did you visit?
Continued to spend a fair amount of time in Atlanta and SC, did one trip to DC (by way of Monticello) w/ Owner and Poet, but the big travel adventure of 2015 was Chicago (loved the Chicago Art Institute)

7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?
 I have a full-body rubber puppy suit already on the way!

8. What day from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day my Kitten got her pack vest at CAPEX: the confusion and surprise and joy on her face!

9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
 I did the illustrations for a children’s’ book that was just published… and we won the Stick & Maggie Red Skull Prize at the CAPEX Halloween party

10. What was your biggest failure?
We failed to save Branwen’s life – but we did give her a very happy, loving home for seven years.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, I had a healthy year – only my dog and my Owner got sick

12. What was the best thing you bought?
For myself?  Probably my puppy hood.  Love my hood.

13. Whose behavior merited a celebration?
Everyone who helped us build the Thunder fence, but especially Daniel.

14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Dumbass dog catchers and dickhead cops

15. Where did most of your money go?
Building the Thunder Dome and paying medical bills (human and bio-dog)  :(

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Chicago… but also Southeast Black & Blue, Atlanta Pride, and any time spent with friends, pack, and family

17. What song will always remind you of this year?
I don’t think I had a particular favorite song this year…

18. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Beta to a wonderful pair of omega pups, and “the kids” make me very happy.  *wags*

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Well, there are some home improvement things I wanted to work on, but they all got swept aside by Thunder's new fence

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Dealing w/ the police and worrying about whether they were going to kill my dog, and then taking my other dog back and forth to the vet to try and save her life.  That was stressful.

To be continued soon…

Monday, December 22, 2014

A Lovely and Loving Weekend

Friday Kitten and I drove down to Poet’s place in SC.  On the drive we listened to an episode of On Being that featured Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran pastor who is 6’1”, has tattoos and pricings and used to be a stand-up comic.  She is really fun, down-to-earth yet wise, self-deprecating, and really exemplifies Christianity at its best: charity, tolerance, and forgiveness.  Kitten really liked her – as did I.  My thing is, I’m less interested in a person’s particular religion as I am in the spiritual, ethical, and wisdom qualities of that person, be they Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or Pagan or atheist.  But it was particularly nice this time of year to hear from somebody who really does exemplify the best of Christian values (not the Religious Right’s talking points, ignorance, xenophobia, and prejudices – or the crass commercialism of overly-capitalized, consumer culture).

Friday evening, we went out to a beer tasting and then had a great home-cooked meal w/ Poet’s parents, and settled-in to watch some Monty Python before I fell asleep on the couch pretty early.

Saturday was Twisted Toyland in Atlanta w/ the pack.  Our Alpha was back in town.  Which I guess I should explain, since I’m not sure it I’ve mentioned it on here – but the quick synopsis is: Recently, Sir Loki divorced, took a new job in DC, and moved up there w/ his new boyfriend.  He’s still the Alpha, we still belong to him, but the pack is now stretched out from Atlanta through North Carolina to DC… so getting us all together is likely going to prove more difficult in 2015.  We’re still in the process of figuring out how best to make this work…

After getting to spend time w/ pack-mates and family, the next best part of Twisted Toyland was that Ma’am let me put on my puppy gear.  Yay!!!  It felt so wonderful to be out in public, on-leash and in my suit, hood, and indefinitely-borrowed harness.  That really does wonders for my spirit, and I left Twisted feeling like a million bucks.  (Of course, there were also four fairly strong run-and-cokes involved.)  I’ll post some pictures as soon as I get them.

Saturday night we got to relax w/ the pack at Gwynn and Bishop’s Safe Haven.  There were some gifts exchanged.  Two were particularly noteworthy:  Bishop got to present Gwynn with her official pack vest.  Also, the pack commissioned from yours truly an anthropomorphic pack portrait which we gave to our Sir as a Christmas/moving-away/housewarming present.  Pictured left-to-right: Gwynn, Sir Loki, Bishop, Hunter, Shdwkitten, and Emrys.

Sunday was the winter solstice… and wedding day for pack-mates Gwynn and Bishop!  Their hand-fasting was a really lovely eclectic Celtic/Pagan/Leather-pup mix that was just tonally perfect.  I think most of us got a little teary eyed.  Congrats and best wishes again to Gwynn and Bishop.  We love you two.  And their “something borrowed” was our Treehouse’s Tree of Life banner which was also the backdrop in our wedding and they got to use it as their alter-cloth.  That made me smile even more.

So after spiritual wisdom/humor and beer Friday, dawning pup-gear and giving gifts Saturday, and then helping two of our favorite puppies get hitched Sunday you would think my weekend couldn’t get any better and I couldn’t get any higher… but I had one more cool event in store.  My Owner’s ex-boyfriend Pirate (that’s his nickname, Pirate) was back in town, and we got to meet-up for dinner at our favorite sushi place on our drive back home.  Well, Pirate wrote a children’s book and I did the illustrations for the second edition – which is now out, and he gave me a copy Sunday.  I am so pleased with how the illustrations came out.  Love it!  So that was the cherry on top of my very full, very uplifting, very fun weekend.

Everybody have a very merry Christma-Hanu-Kwanza-Yule! 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Milking Machines, Pupies 69'n, Beer, Leather Vest, and 2 Good Questions

Last weekend was CAPEX, but I’m going to start two weekends back w/ Atlanta Dominion.  That Friday, Kitten, Cuddles and I drove down to Poet’s in SC where my Owner cooked a delicious steak dinner and we watched Restoration – this pretty good period drama w/ an outstanding cast: Robert Downey Jr, David Thewlis, Sam Neill, Ian McDermott, Meg Ryan, High Grant, Ian Mekellen...

The pug and I spent Saturday w/ Sir and my pack.  We called it a pretty early bedtime, right after dinner – but not before we put Cuddles on the Venus Milking Machine, a $1000, high-end, hand-free masturbation toy that can be used for edging or milking scenes.

Sunday, we brought the Venus w/ us to Dominion, Atlanta’s all-male dungeon party.  Naturally, a lot of guys wanted to try it out.  Because of that, Sir didn’t get an opportunity to beat the fuck out of me, but I did have fun puping-out in the mosh w/ Cuddles, Rex, Jimmy, and Tetsuo.  Hunter joined us and he and I enjoyed doing a 69 on the puppy mats.  *wags*  (Can't do that at CAPEX!)

It’s going to be strange: I don’t know how often Sir will make it back to Atlanta for Dominion from now on.  He took a job in DC and moved up there last weekend.  We’re going to miss him a lot.  It might end up being a little easier on me than the Atlanta puppies.  From me, he’s just moving 6.5 hours away instead of 4.5 hours, so he’s still a weekend trip… and the Treehouse is now the halfway point for gathering the pack, so hopefully we’ll have some good pup gatherings at the Treehouse/Charlotte in 2015.  Since it was a natural stop-over, he (traveling w/ the pack) stayed in Charlotte last Saturday and joined us (Poet, Shdwkitten, me, and Cuddles) at CAPEX.

Before I get to that, let me back-up.  Friday night, the four of us went to “Beers and Gears” as the Charlotte Discovery Place.  They do an after-5 adult only event where all the local breweries come out to share samples, and this one had a steampunk theme.  So the Kitten, Poet and I got on some of out steampunk-ish garb and enjoyed an evening tasting beers and playing w/ the science toys.

Saturday, we joined-up w/ my packmates at CAPEX.  The presentation was good – some cool rope stuff for people who aren’t big on rope.  During the intermission, we sprung a little surprise on my Owner: her official pack vest!  She’s been a part of Loki’s family as long as I have, so we decided that we needed to make her an official second-Handler in the pack.  Since, Ma’am identifies as a white tiger, we had the most amazing vest made for her w/ a leather white tiger carved and sewn into the back below our pup-pride flag.  Ma’am almost cried.  :)

Sir turned-in early after dinner, but I stayed at the party for a bit and did some puppy play w/ the omegas.  The bad news is that, during the mosh, I re-bruised my fucking tailbone.  *whimper*  This happened once before, years ago, and it continued to hurt for over a year.  I’m really, really, hoping it doesn’t take that long to heal this time – but for the time being, it hurts really bad any time I put any weight on my tailbone.  :(

At CAPEX, I got asked two excellent puppy play questions.  One was the basic: “I’m curious about this; where can I go to learn more?”  My usual answer to that is to point people towards the NoSafeWord podcast.  It’s a great show, and about a third of their episodes are related to puppy play.  The most recent one is about “the other end of the leash”: Handlers and Handler headspace… and the polyamours aspect of a pack of puppies (I wouldn’t know anything about that).  Love that show.

I was also asked an excellent question about: is it cool to approach a group of pups who are playing and (w/o being invited) interact w/ them, pet them, play fetch, etc. or does that violate their scene space?  Great question!  My answer was this:  If there is a Handler present, ask him or her if it’s okay to interact w/ the puppies – just like you would w/ real dogs: “Can I pet your dog?”  If there isn’t a Handler present, then I think, generally speaking, most pups like to interact w/ people and like people interacting w/ them as puppies, so I think most pups won’t mind if an outsider comes up and, w/ good intent, starts playing w/ them and petting them.  For the most part, we enjoy that… a lot!  And if the pups aren’t okay w/ that person entering their scene, then they will probably signal it by just ignoring them or turning away… hopefully no growling.  But, if you see some puppies at an event, feel free to pet them and interact respectfully – the whole idea is that we want to be treated like pets!  (Key word: respectfully.  If you act like an ass and treat them badly, you may get bitten.)

 A good couple of weekends... with ups (congratulations, Ma'am) and downs (we miss our Alpha already).  I'll take the bad w/ the good.  Woof! Woof!

Monday, October 27, 2014

CAPEX Halloween Party 2014

We all had such a great time last weekend.  Friday, Poet, Sir Loki, Hunter, and Cuddles joined me and Ma'am at the Treehouse for some drinks, good eats, hot tub time, great company... and sexy fun time.

Saturday morning we drove down to Charlotte to help set-up and decorate for the big CAPEX floor party, and on the drive down, we got to introduce Hunter to one of my favorite bands: They Might Be Giants - music that always makes me happy.  Unfortunately, when we got to Charlotte, we first had lunch at Chilli's.  I got sick later from that burger... then Hunter got sick... then Cuddles got sick Sunday morning.  Yuck!  I don't recommend eating at Chilli's - at least not the one in Charlotte on Tyvola.

Set-up went pretty easy, and I skipped the demo to stay and help w/ the decorations.  (Which worked-out for the best anyway, b/c at one point I had to go lie down b/c I was starting to feel yucky.)  Kudos always to maggie for doing such a great job decorating.  We had dinner at a Japanese stir-fry, and my stomach settled down.  Then we returned to the party hotel to change into costume.  The pug and I were doing Nightwing/Robin.  (And I do mean Nightwing-slash-Robin.)

Sir and Hunter as Deadpool and Weasel:

It was some pretty unusual slash fiction we were making.  Marvel and DC... and then throw in some Harry Potter. My lovely (and talented) Owner and her boyfriend dressed as deatheaters Belatrix LeStrange and Lucious Malfoy.  I think these two looked amazing.  Poet (a pro costumer and tailor) made that robe he's wearing.  The Kitten and I hand-painted the deatheater masks and made the wands (stripped, shellacked, and added leather cord handles).

Group photo (sans Weasel):

There were some really good costumes at the party.  But only one can win the coveted Stick and Maggie "special" award.  I honestly thought Kitten and Poet were going to win it... but I was surprised and equally happy when Stick presented it to the puppy pack.  *wags*  We are now the collective owners of the coveted Red Skull trophy.  (Yep... Stick gave me head.  Or should I say, he gave me his bone?)

We had a fun time at the party - even though the scene I had fantasized didn't come to pass.  Having selected our costumes, I envisioned a scene in which Sir tied Nightwing and Robin together in a compromising position and tortured them w/ electro toys.  And/or since CAPEX has a suspension rig, Sir made plans to suspend us from it.  However, Sir was pretty tired (and most of the elcetro toys were in storage in Atlanta) and I was just bouncing back from a mild food poisoning, so we decided w/o much debate that it should be a low-key night.  Nothing wrong w/ that.  Besides, having a rain check gives me an excuse to put Cuddles and myself into these costumes for another event!  Maybe next Dominion...?  But in the meantime, Sir did, still, put me and the Boy Wonder in rope harnesses.

There was also plenty of sexy shenanigans among the five of us (plus an other or two) during the party in our room... and during the after-party... and after the after party back in our room... and then again Sunday morning...  I discovered that one distinct advantage of having two omegas is that I can get-off twice in the same weekend - 'cause, you know, I have to make sure nobody feels left out.  I think the Alpha was pretty satisfied as well... and I know my Owner had a plenty of fun, naughty hijinks involving violet wands and vibrating devices w/ remote controls.  I guess even when we have a "low-key" CAPEX Halloween weekend it's all still relative.

A special shout-out for our wonderful, little Dalmatian.  Hunter was really on top of things this weekend and was an invaluable help to me and Sir as well as Ma'am and Poet.  Extra good boy!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Atlanta Pride 2014 Photos

The previous post was a little narrative of my Atlanta Pride weekend.  Here I'll share some photos w/ you.

Here I am w/ my two omega pups getting suited-up before the parade starts. 

The "children" and I just chilling on a wall waiting to go.  I look like I'm grabbing a quick nap on Hunter's shoulder.

Getting lined up in front of Sir for the group photo of the Southeast leather contingent...

Beginning to march: an Alpha with three pups on-leash.

Finally a shot with all five of us: Myself, Cuddles, Hunter, Bishop, and our very sexy Alpha-dog Sir Loki.

Along the parade rout...

That's most of what I have.  I'll repeat my request that if anybody has or finds some photos of our pack, please share with me.  Wruff! Wruff!

Monday, October 13, 2014

It Didn’t Rain on our Parade (Atlanta Pride 2014)

Our pack had a great time last weekend at Atlanta Pride.  Friday, Cuddles, my Owner, and I drove down to Poet’s place to have dinner with his family.  We missed the fun at the Atlanta Eagle Friday night (Sir was tending bar), but we didn’t mind very much because the home-cooked meal was superlative.

Saturday morning began with me and my omega having some sexy-fun-puppy time – starting the day off right.  Unfortunately, my Owner and Poet had some costuming work to get done before next month’s steampunk convention, so they weren’t able to make it to Pride.  (And friends Max and Jake couldn't make it down this year b/c they just bought a house.)  So Cuddles and I drove alone the rest of the way into Atlanta and met-up with our Alpha.  Sir Loki took us to the Boy Next Door clothing store so we could find Cuddles some sexy jeans – which we did.  While there, we also got to watch a gay porn star try on underwear.  Saturday afternoon, the pack gathered at Sir’s place for burgers and booze and bad movies.  It was a fun, laid-back evening.

Sunday was parade day.  It was raining Sunday morning… but cleared-up by noon and stayed nice.  Yay!  Bishop and Hunter met me, Cuddles, and Sir at his place and we drove over to the nearest Marta to catch the train – a much better plan than driving into downtown and trying to park like we did last year, which almost caused Shdwkitten to kill me and Bishop out of frustration.  Still, it was not without its difficulty since it took Sir’s four puppies like ten minutes to buy Marta passes from the machine.  He now better understood Kitten's frustration.

We took the train to the staging area and got suited-up.  I was super-super happy to be wearing my Lycra bodysuit and rubber pup hood out in public, and I borrowed a really great rubber harness from Sir.  Cuddles was shirtless and rocking his new, sexy jeans and leather pup hood.  Hunter had on his Dalmatian zantai under his leather pants and pack vest, and Bishop was wearing his vest, tail, and booty shorts.  Sir looked amazing in his leather pants and harness… leading three puppies behind him on-leash.  He was one seriously hot, muscly alpha dog.  Woof!  I was impressed that he was able to hold all three leashes for me, Cuddles, and Hunter (while Bishop remained free to fetch water for us). 

The parade was great fun.  We passed the Shakespeare Tavern (a place I've loved for many years) and the beautiful Fox Theater.  We moved along at a more steady pace this year, so there was a lot less stopping than last year, but every time we did stop I dropped to my knees which inspired a lot of photo ops.  Last year I was the only pup on all fours, but this year my three pack-mates joined me.  *wags*

I think our pack looked great and really rocked it!  We had quite a lot of people shoot photos of us or with us – both in the parade and later in the park.  I admit I love posing for photos.  (“Puppy” is another name for “attention whore.”)  If anybody has/finds any photos of us, please send me a copy/link: .  If I get any good ones, I'll share them on here.

While I have no photos, 11 Alive once again caught us on camera passing by.  The link below is part 8 of their video.  At 7 min. 45 seconds in, the Southeast Leather Contingent arrives, beginning with the Atlanta Eagle’s float.  Right about 9 minutes in you’ll see two great-looking pups dancing on the back of the Eagle’s float.  I don’t know who they were, but they looked fantastic.  Immediately after that you see us walking in front of the Onyx group.  Sir is untangling our leashes so that he can send Cuddles back to fetch my bag from the Panther’s float.  They cut away to a bear they were interviewing, and then cut back to Sir smoking a cigar leading three of his puppies (Hunter, me and Bishop) past the TV camera.  Next, you’ll see the Panthers’ Halloween-themed float.  If you watch the blue cooler at the base of the Jack-n-the-box, you can see Cuddles retrieving my bag from off the float (at about 10min. 15 sec. mark).  And then you can see our pack's boy Isaac riding shirtless on the back of Panther float (wearing a yamaka and flagging yellow).

We had a great time this year (even through I did miss my Owner).  Happy Pride, everybody.  Looking forward to doing it again next year.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Guy Baldwin on the Old Guard (Must read!)

Guy Baldwin, the man who popularized the term "old guard" in 1991, sets the record straight. This is an extremely good, fascinating essay, and I really hope a lot of people read it.…

Best part, for me:

"Thus, the phrase, “The Old Guard” was first coined by third-generation guys in the late 1980s. They intended the phrase to be critical of that condescending elite. "

In other words, the label was originally a slam on stuck-up assholes in the 1980's who made shit up.


"In general, much of the stuff they made up was about high-Leather formalism, formalism to the point of being “Masonic,” when as far as I could tell, from playing with men in Denver and San Francisco through the 1960s and into the 1970s, very few first and second generation guys had a style dominated by formalism."

The conclusion is so good I must quote it in full:

"At this point you may ask, “What’s the harm, really, in promulgating one or another greatly oversimplified Old Guard story?” Myth, after all, is so much more attractive, more coherent, more comforting than truth, which always bristles with contradictions and loose ends.

"But off-the-rack identities and hand-me-down answers are crappy substitutes for the self-exploration required to build one’s own, personalized identity, from scratch. And the blind embrace of a counterfeit “structure” to escape having to make our own choices is — in my opinion! — antithetical to our paths as erotic seekers.

"Consequently it is my fondest wish that everybody would shut up about the “Old Guard” and do what feels right, as long as it does no harm.

Bottom line: There is no one right way to do anything in our world. As is true of all other kinds of fundamentalism, erotic fundamentalism is the real enemy here."

But please take a few minutes to read the whole essay. Seriously. And pass this on.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Three Inspiring Characters for Subbies

 We had yet another great Atlanta Dominion weekend last weekend.  It was very cool Saturday to actually get the whole “official” pack together (something that rarely happens) plus a few friends from the extended pack and family.

Sunday at Dominion, I greatly enjoyed just cuddling on the couch w/ my two wonderful omega puppies.  Both of my little brothers are real treasures.  *wags*

Then, in the mosh, Loki made a rare move by dawning his pup gear and joining us.  That was fun.  Playing w/ Sir in the mosh, I can’t help but think of that classic Sylvester the Cat Looney Toon that features the two dogs Spike and Chester.  Spike is just indifferently strutting ahead while Chester bounces all around him: “What do you want to do today, Spike?  Huh, Spike?  You want to chase cars, Spike?  Do you, Spike?”  Yeah, that’s pretty much Loki and Emrys in the mosh, right there.  LOL.

Okay, so… Sir gave his pack a homework assignment.  Name three fictional characters who, to you, embody your ideal of service or submission.  He gave us two examples: Alfred the butler from Batman and Radar from M*A*S*H.

So here are my three:


So let’s get he big one out of the way first – and if you are a puppy-dog, then Lassie is as big as they get.  Lassie first appeared in a 1940 novel turned 1943 movie Lassie Come Home, “a story about the profound bond between a Yorkshire boy and his rough collie, Lassie” who undertakes a dangerous “trek over many miles to be reunited with the boy she loves.” (Wiki)  It’s a story of profound devotion and loyalty – traits that for me, exemplify a great pup.  In the American TV series, Lassie was described as “caring, nurturing, and responsible with an unyielding commitment to her family and community.”  A good pup like Lassie will walk through Hell and high water for his Owner and his pack.  (And is always there for you if you ever fall down a well.)


For most of The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack is moping around all depressed and his ghost dog Zero is “just” standing by him.  Puppies aren’t fair-weather friends, you see?  They are loyal and stay w/ their Owner through thick and thin.  Then comes the moment when the fog prevents Jack from taking off in his Christmas sleigh and it’s Zero’s nose which lights the way – and Zero is sooooo happy that he finally gets to do something to help Jack.  He’s been waiting this whole time, and now there is something he can do to help his master out, and for a puppy, that’s the best there is.  Doggies love to be useful.  (Another one of my favorite moments from last Sunday’s Dominion was when Sir asked, “Did anyone think to lay out the wrestling mats?” and I could respond, “Yes, Sir, taken care of.”)

Old Yeller

Everybody remembers Yeller’s sad demise, but let’s not forget that before that he saves his family from a bear… then a herd of wild boars… then a rabid wolf!  Puppy-dogs are loving and devoted and helpful, but we don’t take kindly to anyone who threatens our family or pack.  If a fight is required, we’re ready to pass out the hurt.  There have been an occasional few who foolishly messed with my Owner and found out what it meant to have the Puppy Paw of Doom descend upon them.  There’s a reason why the Irish wolfhound motto is, “Gentle when stroked; fierce when provoked.”

Friday, August 22, 2014

SEBB Weekend 2014 Photos

We had a fantastic time at Southeast Black & Blue Weekend, which I wrote all about in my previous post.  Now, I've got a few more photos to share.

Family photo:  Poet Gareth, Shdwkitten (chewing on my neck), Emrys, and Cuddles

Me and Cuddles

Pinning my omega during the mosh

Dogs Playing Cards (Sir Loki, Dante, Rocket, Emrys, Cuddles)

NoSafeWord's Daddy Tony teaching Hunter how to count to 10

Our pack (sans Hunter).  Standing: Sir Loki.  Kneeling: Gwynn, Bishop, boy Isaac.  On all fours: Emrys, Cuddles

In the Mosh.  (Boner in the cage, me and Cuddles down front, Hercules and Thrasher on the right)

Monday, August 11, 2014

Southeast Black & Blue Weekend, 2014

Sir Alan and his family produced a really awesome event last weekend at the Atlanta Eagle.  They decided to drop the title contests from SEBB weekend (due to a general over-saturation of Leather title contests – a wise choice, I think) and make it an education-focused event w/ classes and demos.  It turned out really good.  I think everyone in my family and pack had fun, met new people, and hung out w/ some old friends as well.

Things started THURSDAY when I took Cuddles, my new omega pup, for a hike in the mountains, along w/ my bio-dogs: Thunder the beta wolf and (new omega bio-dog) LeeLoo Dallas Multipass the Great Pyrenees. 

(I know it looks like LeeLoo is getting ready to eat the cat, but actually she’s just yawning.  Both doggies get along well with the kitties.)

We had a good hike to one of the more impressive waterfalls in the Blue Ridge, and all my puppies were very well behaved.  I planed a longer hike (a second leg around a mountain lake), but Thunder and Cuddles were dragging after the first leg, so I decided instead to take us into Blowing Rock where Cuddles and I grabbed some drinks and fish-n-chips at my favorite English pub.

FRIDAY, Cuddles and I slept-in (and enjoyed sexy-fun-time) before we hit the road for Atlanta.  We met up w/ my Alpha, Sir Loki, and he took us out to dinner w/ Pablo Green, author of the gay, BDSM erotica, How to Kill a Superhero.  Dinner was great: both the food and the company.

Then we walked from the restaurant over to the Eagle for Gear Night.  We met-up right away w/ pack-mates Bishop, Gwynn, and Hunter.  I was especially happy to see my other little omega pup had made it back from his vacation in San Francisco safe and sound.  I was glad to hear that he had fun, but I was a little worried about him while he was away (Hunter alone in San Francisco, what could possibly go wrong?).  Hunter, Cuddles and I got our pup gear on.  I changed into my vinyl body-suit and rubber hood (knee pads and paws), and put my two omegas on leashes.  Alpha was busy tending bar that night, so I had to keep an eye on the children.

While we were gearing-up, my Owner arrived w/ her awesome boyfriend, Poet.  Ma’am had to work Friday and then pick-up Poet on the way down, so they just met us at the Eagle.  That meant that in addition to a day of work, Ma’am had spent about 7 hours in the car… so she had a few quick rum-and-cokes and loosened up.  In addition to seeing a lot of familiar faces from the Atlanta crowed and a couple of our Charlotte peeps, we also got to meet The NoSafeWord Show’s Sparky, Daddy Tony and BondageKid all the way down from Seattle.  That’s been one of my favorite podcastes for the last year or two, so it was neat to meet the guys behind it.

I felt a little bad b/c at one point I had to run some errand or other and left Poet holding Hunter’s leash (I don’t remember where Cuddles was at this time) and after a squirrel or two it took me a while to retrieve the Dalmatian… only to get distracted again somewhere and loose him again.  I told Hunter I was sorry I kept abandoning him, but seeing how he was able to keep finding hot guys to engage with he wasn’t too upset about it.  (He’s a sluty puppy.)

I had fun watching Ma’am get girls to flash her on the deck; she was having her own little Mardi Gras out there.  I think the one other thing that stands out from Friday night was Hunter making a comment about a vanilla couple he saw come in.
Me:  “Vanilla couple?”
Hunter:  “I saw some guy come in here with his wife!”
Me:  “Hunter, I’m here w/ my wife.”  [nods toward Shdwkitten, who is busy making-out w/ Poet and flashing her boobs at people]
Hunter: “Yeah, well, they looked like they didn’t belong.”

I think my only regret about SEBB Weekend is that we were so busy w/ the event and so tired each night that it didn’t leave much time or energy for sexy-fun-time.  I was a horny pup, and I really wanted to get pounced by Sir and I really wanted to pounce Hunter, but when you’re at the bar until 2 AM you tend to go home, crash, and get as much sleep a possible before the next, busy day starts.  (At some point during the wee hours of the morning, a horny Cuddles woke me up, however, and I did get him off – again.  I’m really spoiling him rotten: getting him off so much when my Dominants haven’t let me cum in over a week now.  More evidence - if it was needed - that I'm not an Alpha.)

SATURDAY morning, Sir cooked us breakfast, and then we returned to the Eagle to help set-up.  Other than hauling chairs and things around, set-up involved me getting bitten and chewed-on by both Loki and Shdwkitten.  I don’t know why – but I do love being bitten!  I was, however, a little worried that I was going to get all chewed-up before our Primal Play class even started.

I enjoy teaching the Primal Play class.  It touches on some of my favorite themes: animal totems, shamanism, werewolves, no-mind headspace, psychic shape-shifting and animal transformation… plus it’s an opportunity for my Owner to go all were-tiger on me and claw and bite the fuck out of me!  Woof!  *wags*

I really liked teaching our class w/ Poet along w/ us for the first time.  Everyone in the audience commented on how neat it was to see such different energies and dynamics between the way Ma'am and I play vs. the way she and Poet play.

In the second class session, it was Hunter’s turn to take a beating.  Sir had volun-told Hunter to be Daddy Tony’s demo-bottom for impact play – not that it required twisting the puppy’s arm to get him to do it.

Next, we all got to watch them record a live episode of NoSafeWord (episode 98).  That was a lot of fun.  I saw most of it, but unfortunately I didn’t get to stay for the whole thing b/c my family decided they needed food, so we went to a restaurant for a good meal.  After that we were all too tired to return to the Eagle, so we ended up back at Sir’s house curled up on the giant puppy pillow, napping, and watching TV.

SUNDAY, my Owner and Poet decided they really needed to return to poet’s home rather than go back for more SEBB b/c Poet has some costuming commissions he needs to get done.  So Sir, Cuddles and I returned to the Eagle and helped again w/ morning set-up.  Unfortunately, Hunter also was unable to return Sunday because a tree fell on his property or something.  That meant I got to be Daddy Tony’s demo-bottom for his Toy Bag on a Budget class: wooden skewers, rubber bands, wooden spoons, cling-wrap, duct tape, clothesline rope…

Next it was time for the puppy mosh.  We were all gearing-up back in the poker room when Slave Feyrie stumbled on us in the hallway and took these really amazing photos of me and my omega.  She has a great eye w/ a camera, and did these w/ just her cell phone.  (We were fortunate to have Feyrie as our wedding photographer when Kitten and I got hitched seven fantastic years ago.)

 Before the mosh we also did two other photo shoots: (1) a family photo of Sir Loki’s pack… and (2) we gathered-up as many pups who had hoods as we could find and went into the poker room and did a photo of dogs playing cards.  LOL.  I’ll post those as soon as I get a copy of them - as well as the various other pics of us from SEBB weekend.

The mosh was fantastic!  There was me, Cuddles, Boner (in the puppy cage), Bishop, Hercules, Rocket, Dante, Thrasher, Ace…  I think that’s everyone…  We had crazy fun and gathered quite a crowed of spectators.  At one point they played “They Call it Puppy Love” over the PA, and we all stated howling.  LOL.

The mosh was a great way to capstone the weekend.  Afterwards, Cuddles and I took some cool-down time and then said our goodbyes – before the 4.5 hour drive back home to the Treehouse.  A big thank you again to Sir Alan’s family, Sir Loki, and the other volunteers, presenters, and sponsors who made this event possible.  I'll definitely be there again next year!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Human-Animal Transformation Erotica

Recently (while having a very boring day at work) my Alpha, Sir Loki, made a post about his fetish for transformations.  “Transformation has always been a big fetish of mine, from werewolves to hypnosis and cyborg conversions.  I suppose each of those also ties in to a loss of control, now that I think about it.”  As it would happen, Sir and I share this fetish (imagine that) – and I think I could also include pack-mates Gwynn and Hunter in this one.

I love transformations.  Not so much the cyborg thing (I’m a Luddite), but turning humans into animals (though hypnosis or brainwashing, physical/surgical alterations, fantasy magic, or just sexy gear) is a hot erotic fantasy for me, and defiantly underlies my interest in puppy play and pup headspace.  Can’t say I’ve had centaur fantasies like some pups I know, but I’ve been jerking-off to werewolves ever since I was 14.  I’m not sure which came to me first: the original Howling w/ the werewolf sex scene or Marvel Comics Presents #54-59 which had a Werewolf by Night story penciled by Jim Fry that had a very Howling look to it…

To this day, during S/m play and during sex I tend to bark, growl, howl, and whine like a dog!  During both: I love to be bitten and scratched.  The sexy appeal of puppy gear stems from this as well: the rubber, vinyl, or Lycra skin; the hoods; the tails…  For several years I wasn’t as much into that, but mostly out of practical necessity: I don’t have the money to spend on lots of gear and my Owner isn’t really into it – but recently I’ve been perving a lot more on internet pics of rubber and Lycra pups.

In Sir’s post, he shared a link w/ one of his favorite animal transformation-themed erotica, so I figured I’d share one or two of mine.  Now, this requires something of a disclaimer.  I will admit that the erotica I like tends to be very rape-y, very non-consensual.  Bootbrush has often spoken out against this kind of depiction of our lifestyle and community, and I’m on-board w/ him.  Yes, absolutely we need to show and celebrate loving, nurturing, non-abusive BDSM!  What I think I would say is that there is a place for both “porn” and “romance,” and the problem w/ our community is that we have lots of good BDSM “porn” but no “romance” – we don’t often get the BDSM/leather equivalent of The Notebook, Sleepless in Seattle, or Pride and Prejudice.  (Nobody is allowed to mention that stupid “BDSM” book that’s been made into, I’m sure, and equally stupid movie.)  However, I have heard many a Dom admit that they have kidnap and rape fantasies.  I’m sure there are other subs like me who have fantasies about being kidnapped and rapped… and forced into submission, mentally (and physically?) transformed…

Point of the disclaimer: both of these stories are pure fantasy and not what I would ever put forward to the "mainstream" as a representation of our lifestyle.  I assume most of us perverts probably enjoy jerking-off to things that in real life would be absolutely tragic, horrific, and 100% unacceptable (not to mention totally unrealistic).  Enjoy the fantasy and live ethically, i.e. SSC/RACK.  Nuff said.

Stallions by 2NN
A bodybuilder goes home with a guy he meets at the gym… gets kidnapped, becomes addicted to sex, broken, and transformed into a pony.

Another Batch of Stallions by 2NN
In the sequel, four boys are kidnapped.  Two become ponies (kind of repetitive), one a chastised house-slave, and one (my favorite part) a sex-addicted dog-slave.  Woof-woof!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Puppy Headspace

 I’ve noticed something.  Lately, I’ve been having a lot more opportunities to pup-out, but I’ve not been able to (or had the opportunity to) go as deep into pup-space.

So, if you are wondering, pup-space is a term frequently used for the headspace associated w/ puppy play.  Puppy play can be a simple (and fun) form of role-play: the boy or girl acting out the role of a dog.  For some of us, at least some of the time, however, it can be a real mental transformation; I call it psychic shape-shifting, and it’s the kind of things shamans have practiced for thousands of years.  It’s still not very well understood by science, but we know it’s possible to “switch out” the image/understanding you have of yourself in your head w/ something that may be radically out of line w/ objective reality: e.g. the anorexic who thinks they are too fat while they are wasting away, or (my favorite example from The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat) a Caucasian woman who was perfectly normal in all respects except that she was 100% convinced that she was Asian.  It is possible for the pup to reach such a level of mental involvement that (almost like self-hypnosis) he really starts to think of himself as a dog, w/ a dog body (I was once wrenched out of pup-space by catching sight of myself in a full-length mirror – I totally expected to see a wolfhound, not a human crawling on all-fours), and (for me, personally, this is the most striking element) loses the ability to speak or even understand English beyond a few names, words and phrases.

I used to be a regular at the Zen Center of Asheville.  I practiced Zen meditation once or twice a week there for 2 or 3 years.  When I first began doing puppy play, I found it very easy to reach when Zen calls No-mind: that mental state where the language centers of your brain dial back enough that you begin to get a more direct, immediate experience of the sensory world, taking in sights, smells, textures, and sounds w/o having words and labels in your mind to “think” about them.  For many years, it was very easy for me to get on all fours and very quickly drop into this state.  I didn’t feel like I was role-playing or play-acting doing this; I really “became” a large, shaggy dog.

I began doing pup play in 2004.  Throughout most of those years, I was about the only pup I knew.  Very few other people in the Carolinas or even Atlanta were doing puppy play in the previous decade.  Frolicon is one of our largest regional kink gatherings, and I was the only pup seen at Frolicon for many years.  Finally, around 2010 and 2011, the pup scene began to take-off… and it really started to explode in the last two years.  Now we have new pups coming out of the woodwork, and god bless them!  Yay for more puppies!  I actually got into my first mosh a couple of years ago at Atlanta’s Spring in the South.  I was really surprised that most of the other pups didn’t get into a pup headspace as I experienced it – most of them were talking and laughing, being silly, having fun, but not really giving-up their human thought patterns.  So I learned then that pup-space wasn’t really an integral part of puppy play – for some pups’ that’s not what it’s about.  At that same event, my Alpha gave me a good way to analyze different types of pups.  Those who did the psychic shape-shifting thing like me were most likely “innate pups.”  For us, being a pup really is a major part of our personality and identity.  “Pup” is part of who we are – not just an activity we engage in.  Those who enjoy puppy play as an activity are more likely to be “play pups” or “gear pups” (those who get off on the sexy gear associated w/ pup play – this would especially included rubber-pups).  (I would totally be a rubber pup if I could afford it.)

Since that time, my opportunities to mosh and play around w/ other pups has continued to grow.  What I’ve realized is that, while I’m puping-out a lot more these days, I rarely go as deep into that headspace as I used to.  I’m still having lots of fun!  I really do love human-puppies, and I love to just get down and play and chase and tackle and lick and pin and hump (or be humped)… but I’m now staying mostly in a human-ish mind while doing so.

I think there are two causes behind this.  (1)  The last few times I’ve puped-out (the last couple of CAPEX and last few Dominion events), we haven’t had a dedicated Handler watching over us specifically.  In that situation it’s both difficult and unwise to go very deep into pup-sapce.  Pup-space generally requires that you have a trusted Handler there watching and protecting you, so that you can really let go of human thought and act on animal impulse.  My favorite example of this was a pup friend who told me that one day she was pup-playing in her back yard and a bird flew by close enough that she was able to actually catch the bird in her teeth.  That’s crazy enough that a bird would get close enough for that to happen, but also wild that she did this w/o even thinking about it: just reached out and snapped down on that bird.  You probably don’t want to be in that deep a headspace when you don’t have someone dedicated to keeping a close eye on you.

(2)  For many years, when I puped-out, it was just my Owner and I playing together.  Like I said, there generally just wasn’t anyone else around to pup-play with.  Puppy play was never a primary fetish for her, but she nevertheless used to absolutely delight in playing fetch w/ me, petting me and rubbing my tummy, and leading me around on leash… and in those situations, whether it was just the two of us at home or at Frolicon in front of 200 people, it was easy for me to just let the human mind go and let the wolfhound take over.  Well, while I’m getting in more pup time and interacting w/ other pups more (wonderful things) I haven’t gotten much of that kind of one-on-one Handler-puppy time lately.  Ma’am and I got to play one-on-one some at Columbia TNG last month, and that was fun.  But I think there was something about when it was just Ma’am and I doing this together that made it easier to be in that deeper headspace, maybe b/c it was a more consistent, ritual-like thing.

So, while I really enjoy the increased opportunities to get down on all fours and play w/ other pups, I also miss that ability to just drop quick and easy into a really deep puppy headspace and stay in it, potentially, for several hours.  One thing I’m putting on my wish list is to go to an event (a party or bar night…) w/ a Handler and (like Bootbrush often does) just be in pup-mode the whole time w/o “breaking character” – to come and go from an event w/o speaking a single word the entire time.  I got close to that at the Charlotte Woodshed during Trademark w/ my Owner and Poet, and I would really love to do more of that...

For my fellow pups: How important is pup-space to your play?  How often do you reach it and how deep do you usually go?

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

New Bio-dog and New omega Human-pup

We lost one beloved bio-puppy.  We acquired a new bio-puppy who now has a funny name.  And I picked up a stray human-puppy along the way.

Our weekend began on a sad note regarding one of our bio-puppies: Branwen, our 9-year-old white lab/husky mix.  Poor Branwen was bit by a venomous spider (probably a brown recluse) a couple of weeks ago.  She was back a forth to the vet a lot the last couple of weeks, staying over night a couple of times.  We'd try some things and she'd start to recover but then relapse.  The toxin apparently caused her to turn anemic (her white blood cells were attacking her red blood cells) and some ulcers opened up in her stomach causing more blood loss.  Finally, after trying almost everything, and with her too weak to walk anymore, we had her euthanized early Saturday morning. :(

Because our wolf-dog Thunder has such bad separation anxiety and goes bananas if he's ever left alone without a pack-mate, we knew we had to get another dog right away.  We went to our local no-kill rescue on the way home from the vet Saturday and adopted a beautiful Great Pyrenees whom we named LeeLoo Dallas Multipass - or just LeeLoo for short.  She's three years old.  I think she's around 70 lbs right now (?) but underweight.  She is very beta; she has the sweetest temperament.  She's an extreme snuggle-bug who will try to crawl into your lap.  So far she is getting on with Thunder.  He snarls at her from time to time, but hasn't been at all dangerously aggressive.  I think they'll soon become good pack-mates.

It was very nice though this to have the support and love of our friends and chosen family.  Friday, we had Poet up here and my human-pup pack-mates: Bishop, Gwynn, and Alpha-pup Loki; and we were also joined by my new omega puppy Cuddles.  Cuddles is fairly new to the BDSM lifestyle (under a year still, I think) and has only identified as a pup since 2 weeks ago – but I think he’s an innate human-puppy much like myself.  He’s a pug and (as the name implies) he’s a snuggle-bug.  He was curious about puppy play and joined our first mosh at SELF last month and we puped-out at CAPEX after that.  Then he came down to Atlanta Dominion with me, and I gave him one of my old dog collars to wear or he weekend, figuring it would help him feel more comfortable and get into the pup headspace.  He had a great time and really liked the collar… so we agreed that he could have that collar as his own first puppy collar and I’d make him a tag:  “CUDDLES omega of beta pup Emrys”  *wags*

So, if you’re just familiar w/ traditional M/s dynamics this is maybe a bit confusing especially because I am not a Dominant.  How, you ask, can someone wear your collar if you aren't dominant!?  Well, basically, think about an actual dog pack:

When you have human (i.e. non-puppy) Dominants in charge, they are commonly identified as Hander or Trainer… or Owner if they actually own the pup as their 24/7 property.  (e.g. Shdwkitten is my Owner.)  At least that’s how I look at it: Hander/Trainer is more like a Top role during a scene while Owner implies a relationship status.

Then, as w/ a real dog-pack, you have Alphas: human-pups who are Dominants… and usually sadists who enjoy biting and clawing and hurting the other puppies.  (e.g. Sir Loki is our Alpha-pup – and he often also takes the role of Hander during a scene when we want to play and mosh.)

And then you have your beta and omega pups who relate to one-another kind of like senior and junior submissive – or as I often like to use, big-brother and little brother.  Hunter and I started to identify as beta/omega this spring at Frolicon.  It’s hardly a heavy-protocol D/s thing – I get to hold his leash sometimes and he’s usually quick to fetch me a drink or something like that if I need something – but he’s my mischievous “little brother.”  And now (bringing this rabbit trail full circle) I have another omega: Cuddles.  Yay!

So Cuddles got to wear his collar and shinny, new tag at CAPEX Saturday, and I was very proud of him.  He’s such a good, little doggie.  Other highlights included an awesome dinner at a super-authentic Italian restaurant, Ma’am wearing a sexy black mesh dress, playing w/ my new puppy while Poet stuck porcupine quills in my electrically charged Owner, Sir tying Gwynn and I together and beating the hell out of both of us, I got to give Bishop and Gwynn their breed pins to go w/ their pack vests (Bishop actually got a button b/c nobody makes Hyena pins – but it looks great on his vest), fun in the Jacuzzi tub w/ puppies and littles, finishing the night w/ more sexy fun time w/ my omega, and finishing off the weekend by curling up w/ the family to laugh and watch Peter Sellers in A Shot in the Dark, the best, classic Pink Panther flick.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Fire and Ice… and a few Films

This weekend we watched some movies, saw people on fire, saw liquid nitrogen used on people, I got to pup-out w/ my Owner, and Jesus watched over us all.

Friday night, Poet and I did some home improvements for the Treehouse (yea… pluming…), before the three of us settled down to watch Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope.  Rope is generally considered to be one of Hitch’s lesser films: experimenting w/ the idea of doing a film in (what appears to be) one, continuous take.  I think it’s a pretty good movie w/ some great, witty dialogue penned by Hume Cronyn, and great performances by the two lead actors – and also by Cedrick Hardwick (whose son would later play my favorite Dr. Watson opposite Jeremy Brett).  To me, the biggest weakness of the film is its miscast star James Stewart.  The film is inspired by the Leopold and Loeb murder of 1924 in which two cerebral homosexual lovers who misread too much Nietzsche murdered a 14-year-old boy just for intellectual kicks.  Hitch’s film introduces the character of Rupert Cadell (Stewart) as the mysterious, charming, witty, genius, rouge philosopher who (it is implied) once canoodled w/ one of the murders when he was in prep school and who unintentionally inspired the murder.  Hitchcock wanted Cary Grant for the role of Cadell and Grant would have been prefect.  Stewart (a great actor) is completely miscast and doesn’t come off as charming or mysterious or even a genius – even if he has some very witty dialogue written for him.  I give it a B-.  Fun but flawed.

Saturday we drove down to SC for Columbia TNG’s Fire and Ice demo w/ Mr. Vanilla and Dr. Tactical.  This was one of the best demos I’ve seen recently!  First Mr. Vanilla did fire play.  This was actually the very first thing I ever tried my first time at a CAPEX party long, long ago – and led to me being asked to be a fire play demo bottom at CAPEX two months later, which led to me becoming one of the regular demo-bottoms at CAPEX back in the early-mid 2000s.  But what made this demo stand out was really Mr. Vanilla’s sense f humor.  He’s a very entertaining presenter.  Dr. Tactical is also lots of fun, and his liquid nitrogen demo has been a big hit at Frolicon.  It’s fun and very unique.  After they each did their things, they then did a scene/performance together co-topping one bottom w/ fire and liquid nitrogen at the same time – and just for fun they threw in a little electricity, too.  It was way cool!  My Owner is working on booking them to do this at CAPEX next year, which is part of the reason we went down there to see this.

One other fun fact worth mentioning: This event was held in a Catholic men’s fraternity hall (“Yes, they know what we’re doing.”) w/ Jesus on his crucifix hanging over the demo/dungeon space.  That added a whole other level of comedy to the event, as you can imagine.  One that sticks out, when the guys did something that got their demo bottom to go, “Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god!” and Mr. Vanilla just turns and gives Jesus a thumbs up.  LOL

The play party… wasn’t as great.  They had one big, open space w/ no separate space for socializing, so (1) most of the play furniture was being used by people sitting on/around it talking, and (2) when you played, there was no way not to hear all the surrounding conversations.  The other issue was that they only provided water – no snack food or soda – and we each had varying degrees of blood sugar drop.

Those issues aside, we had fun.  Ma’am beat me up, and then I got on my pup gear.  I chose my PVC suit.  I love how sexy this suit is, but it doesn’t breath, so it’s not great for heavy moshing.  This evening, there were no other pups to play with, so I figured it’d be good.  Ma’am and Poet were planning on playing next, so I was just going to hang out near their feet while they played and follow them around on all fours.  But my Owner really surprised her hound by asking some folks to clear off the mat where they were sitting and talking so we could use it.  Ma’am got down on all fours and romped w/ her puppy.  That was an unexpected treat – especially since I had my hood on, and Ma’am generally isn’t crazy about my hood.  She’s still not crazy about it, but afterwards she did complement how much it brings out my green eyes.  So Shdwkitten and I played on the mat w/ one of my fetch toys while Poet went outside to smoke a cigar.

Then Ma’am left me w/ 3 or 4 of the Columbia TNG kids to pet me and play a little more fetch w/ me while she checked-in w/ Poet.  I love having new people pet me and play w/ me while I’m in pup-mode!  That’s a lot of the joy of being a puppy and going out to events in pup-mode.  I’d have stayed in pup-mode longer (although I was about ready to just curl up and puppy nap for a bit), but when Ma’am came back she was concerned about how hot I was.  Literally hot - she didn’t want her puppy to overheat.  So she took me out of my gear… I sat w/ her and Poet in the cigar tent for a while where we met a cool kid from Asheville who recognized us from the Domination events we go to up there… and then we decided we needed to head home/go find snack food.

Sunday, Kitten made us breakfast, and we decided to have a lazy day in front of the TV.  We watched the Lego movie.  It’s really good.  It starts out okay and gets better as it goes – and the ending is really perfect.  After that we watched Kelly’s Heroes, a fun, classic comedy/war movie w/ a great cast that came out the same year as M*A*S*H (which also stared Donald Sutherland)… Then Kitten cooked a fabulous dinner and we finished off our evening w/ a really good BBC Shakespeare documentary.