The Puppy Play Book We've Been Waiting For

I’ve been a human-pup since 2005. For most of that time, pups were very few and far between in the BDSM world – as were pup groups and resources. In just the last few years (since around 2011-2012) we’ve seen an explosion in the pup population: with new pup-and-Handler groups, more moshes, puppy title contests, pups turning up in every leather bar, and more pups showing up on social media than you can shake a stick at. Some great online resources (blogs and podcasts) have cropped-up in the last couple of years, but the only resource in print was Michael Darnels’ Woof!, an adequate, if rather outdated, book… until Bark! by Justin St. Clair.


This book is extremely timely and written by the right author for the present moment. Sir Justin’s year as the International Puppy Trainer titleholder took him to a variety of groups and events in 30 states and two Canadian provinces, so he got the lay of the land. He’s a passionate educator, a great teacher (I attended one of his Pup 201 workshops and it was one of the best kink classes I’d been to in years), and writes in a casual, but very intelligent, style.

He sufficiently covers the 101-level nuts-and-bolts of puppy play, but where his book really shines is when he muses on the emerging puppy community, it’s evolution, and how it fits into (or doesn’t fit into) the larger Leather community. His work is personal and opinionated but never authoritarian; he’s always quick to say, ‘These are my observations, others will disagree, and that’s fine.’

Another real strength of his book is the chapters about puppy packs, Alpha/beta/omega roles, and pup-polyamory. I think he gives a very accurate assessment of how the pup community is organizing itself and the important ways that puppy packs are different from traditional Leather clubs or houses.

It’s breezy, enjoyable, insightful, and a great book for both old dogs like me and new pups/Handlers – or anyone in the BDSM/Leather community with a curiosity about this whole, kooky puppy play trend.

Puppy Podcast, Pride Parade, and Petting Wolfhounds!

Before I get started catching you up on my comings and goings, I have to share a link to a really good podcast on puppy play.  On this episode of Erotic Awakenings they interview International Trainer Sir Justin, and it’s a very, very good overview of puppy play and how it fits (or doesn’t fit) into the greater leather and kink communities.  They discuss why people do puppy play and how can be sexual or not...  The interview begins about halfway through the podcast, I’d recommend just skipping to it, but definitely check it out!

The weekend before last was Atlanta Pride.  This was my third or forth time marching in the parade in puppy mode.  I always really enjoy it.  There’s nothing like being in pup-mode in the Southeast’s largest Pride parade and having your picture taken by thousands of people… and stopping the parade a few times so people could run out and get their picture made with us.

First, I better back up a smidge.  Cuddles and I went to Atlanta that Friday night and met-up w/ our pack-mates Gwynn and Hunter.  We decided to stay in and be lazy – which turned out to be a good call because our Dalmatian (Hunter) got a headache and he ended-up turning in early (very unusual for him).  Later that night, Cuddles and I joined him in bed and I was a very happy wolfhound sandwich w/ my Alpha on one side and my cuddly omega on the other. 

Hunter must have got some good rest for turning in early, because Saturday started off w/ some great sex.  Woof!  I’d been in Alpha’s chastity cage for 20 days w/o relief at that point (and he’d made it worse on me by ordering me to watch X-tube videos the week before)… however, he fucked me w/ my cage on, which was frustrating but really goddamned hot!  The good thing about being fucked w/ my Alpha’s cage on is that it keeps my mind focused where it should be: on pleasing him.  While he fucked me, Alpha reminded me that sex was all about what he wanted – Yum! – and that I was to be his cock hungry slut puppy – Yes, Sir!  I got turned-on even more just by just breathing in his scent and licking sweat from his body.  He told me what a good dog I was... and then bit me really hard.  Unfortunately for me, I think Hunter figured out that he can get me to agree to just about anything he tells me while he’s got his dick in my ass, because he didn’t only decide to make me wait two more weeks before I get to cum, he actually had me begging for him to make me go the full 34 days!

It’s now Day 29, already two days past my previous record.  By the time the CAPEX Halloween party arrives this Saturday, I’m going to be out of my mind.  *whimper*

So Sunday before last it was a very horny wolfhound being led in the Pride parade on-leash by one wickedly mischievous Dalmatian.  Hunter walked Cuddles and I while Gwynn rode in the Panthers’ float, and he did a very good job.  Hunter’s still pretty new to the Alpha role, but he’s a fast learner and has the heart for it.  He took good care of me and the pug, and all three of us had fun (and he looked really hot in his UA compression shorts).

Once again Channel 11 shot video of the whole parade and uploaded it, and you can, again, catch a slight glimpse of us go by.  In Part 2 of their video: at 22 minutes the Eagle float goes by and they interview some sportsball guy.  At 24 minutes comes the bear float, and right at 24:50, as they say, “We got the Rawhide Leather coming by,” you can see me, Hunter, and Cuddles enter the screen and walk across.  You don’t get to see any of the Panther’s float, but they do interview Sir Allen.

As I say every year: If anybody has or finds some photos of us in the parade, please share w/ me.

Last weekend was some much-needed Kitten and Puppy time for just me and my Owner.  The lovely Shdwkitten took her hound on a movie date to see Crimson Peek.  It was pretty good – although I actually feel it would have been better if they took all the ghosts out.  This isn’t really much of a spoiler: but the ghosts actually don’t contribute anything to the plot and seemed like a gratuitous excuse for nifty CGI and jump-scares.

Saturday, Ma’am took her hound to the Renaissance Festival.  We enjoyed some shows and some Celtic music, drank pumpkin beer, and I bought her some cool steampunk kitten ears.  We had a great time together, and we saw Irish wolfhounds!  They had some bio-Wolfhounds at the fair!!  And I got to pet the wolfhounds!!!  And Ma’am took my picture w/ the wolfhounds!!!!  I was very excited to love on the wolfhounds!!!!  *wags wags wags*

That’s been the last couple of weeks for me.  I’m now really looking forward to this Saturday’s big CAPEX costume party.  My Sir is coming down from DC, and it will be extra wonderful to spend time w/ him as well as my Alpha, my omega, my Owner and her cool boyfriend.  And a couple of other pups will be there, so we’re hoping to mosh!  Plus, I’m excited about our costumes this year… not to mention looking forward to being allowed to cum after 34 days! I'll write all about that next week... and may also have some thoughts to share about title contests in the puppy community.  They seem to be growing.  Do we need them?

Till then, may your legs always remain as strong as your will to run.  *wags*

Weekend Updates

Time for a “What has Emrys been up to lately?” blog post.

Because it's been a while, I have to start 3 weekends ago.  Our most recent Atlanta Dominion (all-male dungeon party) was great.  I slipped into my new, metalic-green zentai suit - which got a lot of complements at the party.  After play started, I got my hood on, and my Alpha, Hunter, put our omega, Cuddles, into a straightjacket and gave me an assignment: “Take him into one of the side dungeons, and don’t come back until you have his cum all over your face.” 

After accomplishing that mission and returning to our Alpha, Hunter locked Cuddles in the dog cage and let me (with my hood messy w/ the pug’s cum) go to work on my Alpha’s bone.  He eventually unlocked my chastity cage and edged me while I blew him.  Then he set little Cuddles free, leashed me, and took his beta for a walk around the dungeon.  He said it was good for everyone to see me with cum on my latex face so all the guys know what a good little cum slut I am.  *wags*  Eventually, Alpha ended-up on a couch making out w/ another guy while I went back to work on his delicious bone.  He edged me more… and finally let me cum.  That was 15 days after my previous orgasm.  Since Hunter locked me in chastity a few months ago, I’ve been averaging one orgasm every 19 days w/ my longest stretch being 27.

I suffered from a little drop the week following that Dominion, which is partly why this blog post is being written now rather than 2 weeks ago.  Got busy at work, long hours, and the days have started getting shorter… and so much rain!

The next weekend, then, started w/ a disappointment.  NC-PAH was invited to march in the NC Pride parade, which I was very stoked about.  Unfortunately, it was pouring down rain that Saturday, so Ma’am, Poet and I decided to skip the parade.  :(

However, we made lemonade out of lemons.  We went to a dungeon in the Raleigh area Saturday evening.  I haven’t been to this venue in years.  We had a really fantastic, very hot, scene.  Poet tied Cuddles and I together, naked, face-to-face on this turntable they have, and then he attacked us from one side and Ma’am attacked us from the other while spinning us around.  I think they went through most of their toy bags on us.  I've always loved the energy that comes from group scenes: 2+ Tops and 2+ bottoms.  This one was great!  I still had marks several days later.  After that beating, I got on my pup gear and just heeled while Poet broke out his rope and suspended Ma’am.

While I went to go use the little puppy’s room before we hit the road, my family sat in the food area to wait, and they met the real, live Big Dick McDomDom.  This old guy was there going on and on, spouting the most stupid bullshit – as if he were a parody of the jackass, het, “Old Guard” wannabe Dom.  Among the stupid shit he said was:

• You should never play with a girl if she’s had even one beer because it’s not safe.
• You only should call yourself “Master” if your community has given you that title.
• There are no switches – those are just girls who are waiting for a strong enough man to dominate them.
• You should never have sex w/ your slave; the relationship should be like a boss and an employee.
• You should never fall in love w/ your slave.
• If you wear a leather vest that means you are a Sir.  If you have a leather cap then you are a Master.

I am absolutely amazed my Owner and family overheard this shit and didn’t say anything.  I’m usually the one w/ all the self-restraint, but I don’t know if I could have listened to this BS and not called him out.  But I missed it all.  As we left, they told me all about this guy… and I said, “Well, it’s just a good reminder of why I mostly hang out at CAPEX.”  (We don’t tend to have these kinds of idiots there.)

Last weekend was another rain caused disappointment.  We were going to go to Ren Fair, but it got rained out… and Hunter was going to come up for the weekend, but he didn’t want to drive through the massive downpour, and I don’t blame him.  We still had a good time: myself, Ma’am, Poet, and Cuddles and one other friend of ours.  We did most of our Halloween shopping but otherwise stayed in and watched some movies, and my lovely Owner cooked and baked for us.

Coming up this weekend: Atlanta Pride Parade… and there’s only like a 20% chance of rain in the forecast – at last!  Yay!  Until next time, then: The world is your fire hydrant; unleash your potential.

“I think I got coke and cum on my boots.” Or, “Bring me a handgun and some chocolate milk.”

My first chastity cycle in Hunter’s cock-cage was 21 days.  Cycle 2 lasted a record-breaking 27 days and climaxed at our last Atlanta Dominion party with a mind-blowing fuck and orgasm.  Woof!  Cycle 3 lasted 26 days… but ended prematurely.  I was so excited about seeing my Alpha at Southeast Black and Blue Weekend (he said he had “plans” and was looking forward to “using” me all weekend – which had me excited and nervous b/c I know hat a mischievous little fucker my Alpha is) that I shot-off from inside my cock-cage about 12 hours before I was to see Hunter.  :(

Needless to say, this puppy did not get to cum again last weekend.  However, I did have a really fantastic time at SEBB 2015. 

Friday (after I came that morning – growl) my omega (Cuddles) picked me up, and we drove down to our pack mate’s farm where we met her (Gwynn) and our Alpha (Hunter).  We set out for the Atlanta Eagle for rubber/gear night, got a few miles up the road, and Gwynn’s jeep started smoking.  Not good.  It died.  We were 3 miles from the farm, so Cuddles and I walked back to fetch his car.  Wolfhounds are built for hiking.  Pugs are not.  One of my strides is about 1.5 steps for most people, but for Cuddles to keep up he had to take two steps on his tinny waddle-enablers for every one of my long-legged wolfhound strides.  And he was wearing leather in Georgia in August, so he joined the jeep on the list of things that got overheated.  I callously abandoned him on the roadside for the coyotes (yes, they do actually have real coyotes out there) and walked on.  I got about 5 minutes from the farm when a Good Samaritan’s pickup carrying Hunter and Cuddles caught up with me.

We did make it to the Eagle (in Cuddles’ car), and had a fun time.  It was really good to see my Sir (Loki) down from DC.  I miss my Saint Bernard a lot!  And I also got to see some other fun peoples as well.  I got suited-up in latex and Hunter dropped me into rubber-pup mode.  We spent most of Friday night out back by the bootblack stands w/ me on all fours.

Saturday, was SEBB classes and socializing.  This is a really wonderful event, held at the Eagle, and caped at 100, so it’s not too big – I really like that.  Big enough to have good energy; intimate enough to not feel overwhelming.  My lovely Owner (Shdwkitten) joined us most of Saturday, which was awesome!  I ping-ponged around for a bit: Sat at Sir’s feet in a class, joined Gwynn at the bar, hung out w/ Ma’am and the bootblacks outside…  Finally, Hunter drug me into the back bar room and let his horny chastity-pup go down on him.  It was… yummy.  I’ve actually never had sex in a gay bar before.  Hunter takes a cherry.

After that, with me spacey as hell and horny as fuck, Hunter took me back up front.  I got a coke… however, in trying to sit on a table my coke was sitting on, I spilled it all on the floor and had to clean it up w/ some paper towels.  (It was, thus, later, in realizing my boots were all sticky, that I declared that they appeared to be covered w/ coke and cum.  It’s okay; that’s an Old Guard tradition.  At least it is in Atlanta.) 

We were joined by Ma’am and Sir.  I ended up surrounded by three super sexy, sadistic people I love… and (Loki started it) they all three started to bite me at the same time – hard.  I really was still a bit high from having Alpha’s wiener in my mouth, and biting is a huge turn-on for me, so it hurt so bad it was good – and my dick tried to get hard in its cage.

My Cuddly Pup rejoined us and we went out to dinner (sans Shdwkitten who had to drive back to SC).  Got back.  I got into pup mode again, this time rocking me new latex shorts (and the rubber harness I’ve indefinitely borrowed from Sir).  Here’s my sexy Alpha and I, a boy and his dog:

I had maybe an hour or so in pup mode, but Alpha was tired so we called it an early night Saturday and headed on home.

Sunday, Cuddles, Hunter and I got up early to drive, once more, into Atlanta.  We stopped at a gas station on the way in.  I filled the tank and sent Cuddles to fetch me chocolate milk.  He noticed that the sign indicated they also sold guns and ammo and asked me if I wanted any.  “Sure,” I said, “Bring me a handgun and some chocolate milk.”

We met Sir and his partner for breakfast.  They had to fly back to DC and wouldn’t be able to join us for the rest of SEBB, but it was really nice to have a little time with them that morning, just the five of us… even if the coat hook in the men’s restroom tried to kill me.

We got to the Eagle early.  The children played some pool while I helped Nitro hang some signage, and then we locked Cuddles in the cage and made him strip to his underwear, boots and collar.  He looked like a cute, little, gay, go-go boy.

We then sat in on a very good class: Sir Robert Helms (TX) teaching “Straight and Gay Leather History.”  Seriously, if you ever get a chance to see this one, don’t miss it.  He dispels a lot of myths about things like earned leather, the so-called “Master’s cap” and the fucking “Council of Elders,” he corrects a lot of revisionist history that’s going on, and he reveals the truth behind things like the hanky code and Larry Townsend’s Leatherman’s Handbook.  But he’s also really good about highlighting relevant contrasts between the het and gay leather communities.  It was well done, and clearly he’s done his homework.

After that came the puppy mosh… which quickly turned into the puppy nap time.  LOL.  It was Sunday afternoon and we were all pretty tired.  Still, it was good; I think everyone enjoyed themselves, and that is what counts.  Near the end of the mosh, Hunter started rubbing my belly… and my puppy parts!  He got me all hard and horny… then he leaned in close to my latex-hooded ear and whispered, “You’re going to be my chastity-pup from now on.”  My dick started throbbing.  “You’re going to stay a horny, little fuck-pup.”  My whole body started quivering!  Woof!  So… fucking… hot…

He edged me w/o getting me off.  Thus began cycle 4.  It’s a full 5 weeks until the next Dominion party, but Hunter says if I’m a good boy he’ll let me get off before then. (He’s planning a visit to North Carolina.)  The catch is: he’s planning on making this cycle harder on me by sending me dirty pictures and reading assignments…  Arf.  Mischievous little fucker…

In closing, I want to give a big round of a-paws to Sir Alan, Nitro, boy David, and Girl Dale for organizing such a really wonderful event.  Thank you, again, so very much.  SEBB is a highlight of my year!

Chastity... Punctuated by Puppy Sex

For several years now, the rule is I can’t cum w/o permission from Ma’am or Sir.  Usually Ma’am will make me go a week or two w/o cumming.  I think three weeks has always been my maximum.  I never had a chastity device before: this was a rule enforced by my will, and thus not always easy to keep.  A handful of times a year I will slip-up and make myself cum w/o permission.

One reason why I never used a chastity device is b/c I was always skeptical one would stay on.  I have notorious “turtle balls” which often completely disappear into me.  My packmate Hunter was convinced that one of his devices would fit me… and he was correct.

My wonderful Owner, Shdwkitten, agreed last month to allow Hunter and I to explore more of an Alpha/beta relationship, as Hunter, a switch, has been moving in an increasingly Topy direction lately.  So we began at SELF (Southeast Leather Fest) with my former omega putting me into chastity – potentially until the next Atlanta Dominion (all male dungeon party) which was 34 days away.  Prior to SELF, Kitten had already made me go two weeks w/o cumming, thus all-together adding up to potentially 48 days between orgasms – far exceeding my previous record.

First thing to know w/ a chastity device is that you have to build-up to it.  It’s not like in the erotica you read where the Master or Mistress slaps a device on their boy and leaves it there for the next 4 weeks.  Initially I could wear it for most of a day by frequently re-applying silicone lube to cut-down on pinching and chaffing, but I had to take it off every night to sleep.  Gradually as I went, however, I had to apply lube less and less frequently (although I still usually put some on in the morning around the hinge) and have no difficulty sleeping w/ it on or wearing it 24 hours: taking it off only to clean it and me and then putting it right back on.  I have a few exceptions, i.e. I’m allowed to take it off when I ride the motorcycle.

I wore the cage for a week after SELF until, at Day 21, Ma’am rewarded me for being an extra good boy by unlocking me and letting me cum.  As happens when I’ve gone 21 days w/o an orgasm, I shot over my head, on the pillow, in my hair, and on my face, and had an amazing, mind-blowing, body-convulsing orgasm.  Woof!  Thank you, Ma’am!

Then I got locked-up again until Dominion: still a personal record-breaking 27 days away.

Hunter teased me w/ the advice that, while wearing a chastity cage, it’s best to avoid boners, porn, erotica, and such.  Yeah…  After having it on for a couple of weeks, I found myself increasingly, unavoidably having sex on the brain.  I rarely ever remember my dreams, but I know I woke up a couple of times in the night from erotic dreams of some sort.  I flirted w/ beautiful rubber pups online, and I got to mosh w/ some sexy puppies at the Woodshed.

As I grew more accustomed to the cage, I also grew to hate not having it on… similar to how I hate being w/o my collar: because the cock-cage not just a device that keeps you from getting off; it’s also a kind of collar around your balls.  I started to feel like it was Hunter’s hand always around my cock, always quietly reminding me that he is my Dominant and I should submit to him.  The cock-cage says: “This belongs to someone, not you.  Beta dogs don't get to play with their bones.  Their Alphas take their bones away from them, and the bone is Alpha's to play with.  Betas only get the toys Alpha lets them have.  This isn’t your toy.”

Also, I found I really liked it b/c it takes away the mental stress of having to control myself, and that’s probably also why associate the cage with a puppy thing even though Ma’am has been controlling my orgasms for years.  With the cage, I feel controlled, I don't have to control myself, and can let go – just like I do when I pup-out.

So… even before our Dominion party, I got to see Hunter Friday night and Saturday morning (along w/ our fantastic packmate Gwynn).  I think it was pretty clear how horny I was and how frisky I wanted to be w/ Hunter.  I wanted him soooooo badly.  Not just that I wanted him to take the cage off.  I just felt very submissive to him and very aroused… I would have been just as happy for him to fuck me w/ my cage on as to take it off.

As it was, he did eventually let me get his bone in my mouth Friday night, skull fucked his beta, and came down my throat.  Yum.  *wags*

Dominion finally arrived Sunday afternoon.  I was suited-up in my latex skin despite it being hot as hell.  Hunter has to work the check-in desk for the first 2 hours, and then he can play.  I really would have been happy just to have my gear on and be in pup-mode lying at his feet behind the desk, but he insisted I wander the dungeon… which I did and watched some scenes and got my omgea’s bone in my mouth for a little while.  Finally, Hunter was off duty, and he put my hood and mitts on, leashed me, and took me for a walk around the dungeon - me happily trotting on all fours at his feet.  He pulled out a squeaky toy and played some fetch w/ me.  It was very fun even if the suit and the heat limited us to only a few minutes of fetch before I had to stop, drink water, and lay on the cool floor for a bit.

He then unlocked my cock-cage and chained me onto a spanking bench and opened-up my suit.  I’m sure there were visible heat ripple coming off my back.  He opened-up the suit enough to have access to my shoulders, back, and ass – and proceeded to spank my ass w/ his paddles.  I think it was because I was already so hot from being in rubber, but I couldn’t process the pain well at all.  I could tell he wasn’t hitting me hard, but it felt incredibly fucking stingy, and I was howling in pain.  The spanking got cut a bit short since he could tell I was having trouble taking it.  He also bit me and scratched me – and that was much more welcome sensation.  Also, while he spanked me, he also kept teasing my hole w/ a finger or the tip of the paddle – a sensation that was driving me crazy!  I was soooo hungry to be fucked.  Hard!  While I still had my latex dog hood on, Alpha inserted his bone into my mouth, and I eagerly sucked for all I was worth.  I got Alpha hard, he lubed me up, and finally fucked his beta’s needy ass.  I’m sure we were making a shit ton of noise howling and barking, and Hunter later said we attracted an audience in the dungeon, but at the moment I was just completely lost in sex.  I do remember looking to my right at one point and catching us in the mirror on the wall: Hunter fucking his dog for all he was worth, and me barking and whining for more, more, more!  He also kept biting me while he fucked me; which drives me further crazy and had me howling in pain/pleasure.

Finally, he let me cum.  He cupped his hand under my penis to catch the load, but apparently Hunter forgot what it looks like when I cum after over 20 days of chastity because his cup did quickly runnith over.  Woof!

I slumped onto the bench in complete exhaustion (and submission).  Brain fried.  Hunter got me down and took me to bench where he sat and I just melted at his feet into a loving, adoring puddle of submissive goo.  Eventually, Hunter and my omega, Cuddles, helped me get into the shower and peeled my latex skin off.  They helped me clean and dry my latex, re-hydrate, and get some food in me… before Hunter locked his cock-cage back around my bone… until Southeast Black and Blue, 27 days away.

Unless Kitten decides otherwise.  Of course, the collar (and wedding band) still trumps the cock-cage.  I am still 100% Shdwkitten’s property – and always happy to be so.  She is the best Owner and life-partner I could ever ask for, and every day she makes my world better.  (I have to spend a lot of time away from home this summer, and it SUCKS!)  I’m just so very lucky that she allows me to explore these other relationships and dynamics and shares me w/ a trusted, select few.  I Ruff you, Ma’am!

Hunter’s final order before we parted: “I want to read a blog post about how awesome I am.”  LOL.  And then one of us made a crack about him being a twue Alpha – simultaneously a jab at the leather community and a Teen Wolf reference.  I will just echo what our wolf pup, Gwynn, said:  Hunter is doing a very adequate job as Alpha.  :P

Charlotte Woodshed's Pup Mosh

The pup community continues to grow, and I enjoy meeting new puppies all around.  It’s so different from how it was 5 or 10 years ago when, for a long while, I was one of the few puppies in the region.  So much pup energy, it’s like going into newbie-sub frenzy all over again.

And if you’re like me and puppy play is also (often) a very sexy, fetishy thing, that also means being more horny than usual – which is also what happens when you’ve (like me) been locked in a chastity cage for 22 days… coming immediately after 21 days of chastity that ended last month ago when I was let out, allowed to cum, and locked right back up again.  Hunter, my young Dalmy Alpha, has me cock-caged, and it’s got puppy sex on my brain.  (I’ll write more about my time in chastity after this weekend’s Dominion party – should be a good story; stay tuned.)

So… puppies, puppies, puppies!  Friday night I was in Chattanooga, TN and managed to grab dinner w/ a couple of handsome young pups there.  One pup I played w/ last year, the single time he came down to one of our Atlanta Dominion parties.  He ended up locked in the crescent-cage w/ me and Bishop… and there was a lot of fondling, humping, licking, and all the general naughtiness that occurs when you lock three hot puppies in a cage together.  It turns out that was actually his very first public dungeon event and pup-out!

I seem to have a knack for finding hot, young puppies at their first event and then pouncing, licking, humping, and molesting them… because Sunday was the first pup mosh at the Charlotte Woodshed (gay bar) and I did it again. (I'm not a chicken-hawk, I'm a wolfhound!)

 Had a really good time there, and was super-impressed by their set-up.  They really went all out!  They hung up numerous puppy pride flags, built a large scale dog house, put down mats on the ground, had a fireplug available, lots and lots of toys, plenty of water bowls, bone-shaped pretzels, and (and this really impressed me) they printed up lots of signs and cards about how to interact w/ human puppies.  Very well planned!  The turn-out was small-ish, but not bad for their first event.  They are hoping to turn this into a quarterly event, next one in November – knock on wood – and so I hope that it grows and flourishes.  Puppies and Handlers who are w/in striking distance of Charlotte, NC, please support this event!

I also need to thank my two wonderful Handlers: Shdwkitten and Poet.  I know Kitten wasn’t totally looking forward to this: going to a gay bar, being the only girl there, not knowing anybody… it can be uncomfortable.  As soon as we arrived, however, some other pups and Handlers came over and introduced themselves.  Ma’am said that all of the event organizers, pups and Handlers were all very cool and very friendly and accepting.  Only the “tourists” (as we called them: the vanilla guys who were at the bar and were a little bewildered by what the whole puppy thing) gave Ma’am some funny looks.  Nobody was rude, but she did detect a few, “What’s a girl doing here?” looks.  However, I’m not sure if that confused them any more than the sight of the puppies chasing squeaky toys around.  I would really encourage female pups and Handlers in NC and SC to come to the next 'Shed mosh; I think you will find a welcoming, fun group.

My real hero of the weekend was Poet.  At SELF, I tore a couple of small holes in the knees of my latex suit.  Latexcatfish is inexpensive, but it also tears easily; it’s very thin latex.  Poet patched and reinforced the knees w/ some thicker latex, so I was able to wear my suit to the Shed… for a while.  While I was playing w/ an adorable, young puppy (the above pictured first timer – who was so fucking cute and had a very cool Alpha as well), Poet spotted a new tear that had opened in the crotch of my suit.  He patched and reinforced that for me yesterday (if you order Latexcatfish, be sure you know how to patch latex or know someone who does), but I had to take off my suit for the rest of the Woodshed event, and change into jeans and the rubber harness I indefinitely borrowed from Sir.  Ma’am said I still looked sufficiently hot.

So the Woodshed was fun.  I would really like to see some of the pictures taken of me for the Shed’s Facebook page, but the link to Facebook from their website takes you to a dead page.  Very frustrating.  If anybody knows how to find the Woodshed’s active Facebook page, please send me a link!

Playing w/ hot pups, Alphas, and Handlers while on Day 20 of chastity was deliciously frustrating.  Monday continued to ramp-up my sexual frustration as I found myself on FetLife involved in some heavy online flirtation w/ a beautiful rubber pup in the UK.  Woof!  Five days to go until I see Alpha at Dominion, and my mind continues to be bent around sex, rubber, puppies, leashes, tail plugs, and bones – big, juicy, milky bones!  *Growl*

The rest of you pups out there: stay sexy, stay fun, stay safe, and may your owner never play off-key.

Puppy Packs - How Does that Work?

This picks up a little bit from where my last blog post was, but it also is a reply to some mail which asked:

“My mind has been circling around forming a pack a little before, but mostly after your demo for us. What little time I have been on fet lately searching out info has been fruitless. Could you tell me a little about the formation process, vetting, initiation and such.”

Great question!  First: There is no one way.  There is no true way.  These are just my own thoughts, but ultimately it’s about what works for you and yours.  Nobody is going to kick you out of the puppy clubhouse b/c you’re “doing” your pack wrong.

So I would suggest a few things:

First, a puppy pack is different from a Victorian-style “house.”  This family structure has been mostly popular among the het BDSM community (although you’ll find overlap w/ the gay community).  In a Victorian manner house (you’ve all seen Dowton Abbey) you have your upstairs and your downstairs.  The upstairs people are the Doms and the downstairs are the subs… but w/in each grouping you also have a hierarchy in place.  So you have the Top-Dom and the next in line… You have the equivalent of the “head butler” (sometimes called the “alpha slave”) on down to the lowly scullery maid.

The second common family structure from traditional leather is the military-styled biker gang.  You know the legend:  Gay WWII vets return from the war, are mostly processed out in NYC or San Francisco, and, missing the structure and male camaraderie of the military lifestyle, they form the first gay, leather motorcycle gangs.  They were characterized by:

• Paramilitary biker uniforms, insignias, patches, and pins
• The custom of exchanging insignias/pins w/ friendly clubs
• Christening rituals (pissing on a new bike… or a new member)
• Dress leathers inspired by the military dress uniform
• Ritual formalism and lots of rules and protocols
• Exclusivity meant to keep outsiders out
• You started at the bottom (as a submissive probie) and had to earn your way up (to Master)
• Earning leather through challenging “scenes”
• Switches were second class b/c they “hadn’t made up their minds”
• Of course: no girls allowed

Puppy packs are a modern (AKA New Guard or New Leather… mostly TNG) thing that breaks from both of those dynamics in a few ways.  If you want to start by asking what does a puppy pack look like, then I’d suggest you check out the TV show Teen Wolf.  It’s one of my favorite shows, and their werewolf pack is basically a puppy pack w/ super powers.

Another source would be wikipedia’s entry on canine packs: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pack_%28canine%29

Just to highlight some of the differences between packs vs. houses and leather clubs:

• Less rigid hierarchy, more up-and-down movement
• Less clear definition of roles or positions
• More fluidity in D/s dynamics and switching
• Less protocols
• More traffic in-and-out (easier to join or leave; less vetting)
• More complex “polycules” – networks of poly relationships branching off various ways, so that A might be in a relationship w/ B and C, but B and C might not have any relationship w/ one-another.

Canine packs are structured as Alpha(s), betas and omegas.

Alphas:  In actual wolf packs you usually have only one alpha male and alpha female, but human packs could have more than one… or you could have an Alpha pup and a Handler who are different, or different pups in the pack might have different Owners/Handlers, etc.  Alpha pups are Dominants (or switches in a D-role) and often sadists (although not necessarily).  Dominance in pup packs is usually established more organically than in leather houses or clubs – perhaps w/o identifying titles (“Sir”) or insignias of rank… although these may be used and some packs might be more structured than others.  (I always refer to my Alpha as “Sir” but not all of my pack mates do so.)

Betas:  The beta pups are submissive to the Alphas but dominant (at least in some sense) over omegas.  These D/s structures are usually looser than in traditional M/s relationships.  One of the trademarks (and fun) of a puppy pack is (in my experience) the way the betas constantly spar amongst themselves for ever-fluctuating Top/bottom positioning.  This can be seen in a mosh where the betas are often playfully trying to pin or mount one-another or steal one-another’s toys.  It can also be seen in the way Alpha’s orders get followed.  Often when our Alpha gives an order we start playfully fighting over who does it.  Frequently our Sir has said, “You all work it out amongst yourselves. I don’t care, as long as it gets done.”

Omegas:  Traditionally viewed as the weakest wolves/dogs, in a human puppy pack they might be the most submissive.  They get all their toys stolen in the mosh pit and usually end up having to carry their pack mates’ bags and gear around.  Frequently they are also the new kids: younger and less experienced than the other pups.  I’ve had two omegas (aged 22 and 23, considerably younger than myself) and I liked to refer to them as “the kids” or “the children” just to tease them.  I said betas are dominant over omegas, but this might not look like a traditional D/s dynamic.  I’m not a switch and don’t have a D-mode, so my relationships w/ my omegas has been more like mentor/mentee or big brother/little brother.  My current omega has his Fet status as “protected by” me, and that’s a better description than “submissive to” b/c he’s not so much my submissive as my little brother who I’m teaching, advising, and looking out for… and fucking; there’s also fucking.

How much protocol or structure does your pack need?  How much vetting or ritual is required to become a member?  Again, your mileage will vary; do what works for you and yours.  Our pack a has a more clearly defined “inner circle” denoted by our matching patches on our vests (we took that tradition from Traditional Leather – steal what works for you), and we each wear a breed pin (wolfhound, Saint Bernard, Dalmatian, etc.) and bone-shaped name tag on our vests… but we also have a more nebulous “expansion pack” and “extended family” structure swirling around us, which has more fluidity of pups, Handlers and partners coming and going.  Those w/ the pack vest have been around and demonstrated more commitment to the pack – this happens naturally (w/o a specific process) for us b/c the vests aren’t cheap and take about 10 months to get from the time you place the order, so only the pups who have really proven themselves and been w/ us for over a year get one.

Finally, one specific question I’ve been asked is, “Can you have kittens in your puppy pack?”  (And extrapolate this to: Can you have furries?  Can you have girls?  Can you have straight people?)  Again: ultimately it’s about what works for you and yours.  Modern kinksters, by and large, are much more about ‘do it your own way’ and more accepting of diversity.  My pack covers a range of ages, genders, sexual orientations, and breeds – and includes one female were-tiger.

I’d love to hear thoughts from others about how you pack works.  Email or comment.  And may your paws never slip.

Traditional vs. Modern Leather… and Puppies

At SELF last weekend, I caught a Puppy 201 class that was one of the best discussion classes I’ve seen in years.  It was a class by Sir Justin, IPTC Trainer 2014, and the class was on pup roles… sort of.  The class was something of a bait-n-switch.  It was about pup roles, but really it had a lot to do w/ the general new guard/TNG/kinkster scene and how it differs from traditional leather… and how pups exemplify that.  It was a good discussion that offered a helpful new paradigm for understanding the community, past and present.

Sir Justin began by drawing a contrast between “traditional” leather and “modern” leather/kink.  “Traditional” is the word he proposes to replace “old guard.”  I totally agree w/ this!  “Old guard” was coined by Guy Baldwin c.1989 and recently even Baldwin has said that he regrets the term b/c it wasn’t the best choice for what he wanted to describe, and people have misused it to mean all kinds of things.  For the most part, it’s come to refer to something that never really existed – at least not like the way most people mean when they say “old guard” or, “I’m old guard.”

Not long ago, I did some research on my own (mostly using the website of the fantastic Leather Archives and Museum – check it our) and wrote a series of three posts about this topic, which I think still has gotten more hits than anything else I’ve written (over 1400). 

Leather, part 1: There was never an Old Guard

Leather, part 2 – Leather, Crisco, Poppers & Disco

Leather, part 3 – AIDS, the Internet, and the Myth of the Old Guard

So, if I could get three wishes from the Leather Jinni, one would be to do away w/ this term “old guard” and the muddy and inaccurate concept that goes w/ it.  Let’s just stop using it!  I like “traditional” so much better.  For one, something doesn’t become a tradition until after the fact, right?  “Traditional” is an inherently backward-looking term.  So “traditional” leather self-evidently isn’t something that started in the 40’s or 50’s or even the 60’s.  It’s the Baby Boomer leather culture that congealed mostly in the 70’s, 80’s, and early 90’s.  I also like “traditional” b/c something doesn’t have to be based in real history to be a tradition.  Hanukah is a perfectly valid tradition even though almost all archeologists and Egyptologists agree that there never was a time when all the Hebrews were enslaved in Egypt, the pyramids weren’t built by slave labor, there was never a mass slave exodus from Egypt, and Ramesses the Great didn’t drown under the Red Sea.  None of that matters in as much as Hanukah is still a perfectly good tradition that does the things rituals and religious institutions are supposed to do.  Or take Christmas.  December 25?  Nobody has any idea when Jesus of Nazareth was actually born.  So we can, likewise, talk about the tradition of awarding the master’s cap w/o having to claim that, “This is really how it was done back in the 40’s by the old guard.”  So far as I can tell, the master’s cap didn’t become a tradition until the 80’s or 90’s.

What else became a thing around that time?

Recently Master Ron K was on the KinkyCast podcast.  One of the things he talked about, which I found to be rather interesting, was that the word “slave” is not the best, healthiest word we could choose.  “Slave,” he argues, is an inherently negative, pernicious word.  By calling our submissive partner our “slave” we tack on to them all of these negative associations and it ends up sabotaging the relationship and perpetuating the stereotype that BDSM is inherently abusive and the people in it are “fifty shades of fucked up.”  The label is “a disempowering, energy sucking kind of thing” (Master Ron K), and while we continue to use it, we will continue to see Masters who abuse their partners and justify it by, ‘He agreed to be my slave,’ and submissive who continue to allow themselves to be abused.  Language influences attitude; attitude influences behavior.

This Master/slave dynamic is now traditional leather… but it’s a great example of how traditions don’t often perfectly reflect history and most traditions don’t go back as far as we think.  According to Master Ron K, this use of “Master/salve” stems from the 1980’s and early ‘90’s.  Prior to that, “master” referred primarily to a mastery of skills (recognized by the community) not a role in a relationship dynamic (i.e. “He is my master.”)  Jack Rinella wrote: “You can read [Larry Townsend’s] Handbook, for instance, all you want and you'll find only few references to slaves… You see, a person into Leather in those days was called an "S" or an "M," which stood for sadist and masochist and had little or nothing to do with dominance or submission.  Even the words top and bottom are rare in the Handbook, as they were rare in the seventies.”  I don’t think D/s or M/s was a big part of the Leather scene until after AIDS scared everyone off from raunchy, primal sex.

Okay, so that’s traditional leather and where (I think) it comes from.  Now, let’s contrast that w/ modern leather/kinksters.  Start w/ puppies.  Puppy play started in traditional leather clubs as a way to punish misbehaving boys and haze probies through public humiliation and degradation.  But modern the puppy scene is not about humiliation but fun and play; it’s more silly and has less structured D/s dynamics; it looks more like having a loving pet than a “slave”; and we have a lot of overlap w/ furries and primals – groups still sometimes shunned by traditional leather men.

In modern kink (and puppy dynamics) w have less rigidly defined roles.  I’ve frequently said that I don’t think of myself as “a submissive” in some generalized sense.  Rather, I say, “I submit” to two specific people (well, now going on three).  However, I don’t walk intoa  dungeon or leather bar w/ the expectation that I am going to “lower my eyes” to anyone but my Ma’am and Sir.

Instead of clearly defined roles of Master and slave – and you absolutely can NOT be both, right? – we have more fluidity.  I remember one switchy guest who was on the NoSafeWord Show talking about all the shit he would get from his fellow leather men by showing up at events wearing both his master’s cap and his slave collar.  Traditionalists would be all, “You can’t do that!”  But modern kinksters are much more comfortable w/ switching – and sometimes two partners may even switch off roles together (as our current joke that Hunter is my Alpha and my omega – LOL).

In place of M/s, puppies organize around a looser, more organic, pack structure of Alpha, beta, and omega.  I often confuse people coming from a traditional leather perspective b/c Cuddles is collared to me as my omega.  However, I’m not a switch, and I’m not a Dominant or a Top.  For me, beta/omega is much more of a mentor/mentee relationship, or big brother/little brother.  But I don’t generally order him around, and I don’t generally Top him…

Another trait of modern kink is that complex polycules are a lot more common.  Traditional leather was patterned on either military chains of command or Victorian manner house hierarchies.  However, what’s becoming the norm in modern kink is complicated families where A might be over B and C, but B and C are equal, and B has D, E, and F under him, but only D is also under A where E is collared to both B and F, and A is married to G, but G isn’t kinky and has little to do w/ the rest of the family, and…  I call them “complex polycules”: when your poly family structure maps like a carbon polymer molecule.  If anything, we look more like dog/wolf packs.

Let me highlight two more differences here.  In traditional leather, you started at the bottom (as a submissive probie) and had to earn your way up (to Master).  (At least, that’s the tradition, we can disregard how often that was actually the case.)  Now it’s not uncommon to have a 20-something “Master.”  Many traditionalists mock this, but it’s a legitimate sign of changing times.  Hunter is currently acting in a Dominent role to me w/in our pack structure, even though our difference in years and mileage is pretty significant.  (I started going to fetish clubs when he was in the 3rd grade, and I identified as a puppy before he hit puberty.)

Finally, traditional leather is insular and exclusive; like a biker gang, you had to earn your way in.  Modern puppies tend to be among the most open and accepting segment of our community.  Puppies just want to play get scritches, so we’re usually cool w/ all types of people regardless of gender, orientation, or whatever their particular kink is.  At least that’s been my experience.  Whenever “issues” arise about furries showing up at a mosh or female pups joining the mosh, it’s almost never the pups themselves who have the issues; it’s the Handlers and the event organizers and the leather guys coming out to watch.  The puppies are usually just, “Yea, more people to play w/ me!”  And frequently the puppies are the first ones to lend support to outsider groups like transgenders, furries, ABDLs, etc.

Puppies are kind of on the outer edge of the leather community right now.  Sir Justin made the point that we are largely modern fetishists coming into traditional spaces (leather bars, runs and title contests), and that can be a source for friction and misunderstanding.  Both sides need to have understanding for one-another, and that’s where this new paradigm seems very useful.  I know, the more I thought about it after Justin introduced it, the more it made sense to me.  Your thoughts?

Until next time, may a doggie bag always reward your wait.

 

SELF 2015: Puppies!!!!!

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