My last post looked at the lighter side of BDSM stereotypes as
mocked in the delightful musical Spank… but in
addition to exploding stereotypes w/ laughter, it’s also worth discrediting the
w/ science. I’ve recently found a couple
of articles I thought worth sharing about BDSM in regards to mental
health. Both do a good job of using
facts and science to dispel the popular stereotypes. I think these two articles would be
especially helpful for anyone trying to talk to vanilla (or kink-curious)
friends/family. I remember many years
ago when I came out as kinky to my friends, one of my vanilla friends (who had
known me for like ten years at that point) basically said something along the
lines of: “I don’t get that whole ‘I hate myself and want to be punished’
stuff.” All I could say at the time was,
“I don’t hate myself… and it’s not punishment as much as play.” I wish I had these articles at that time to
say, “Here, read this.”
50 Shades Of Grey (Matter): How Science Is Defying BDSM Stereotypes
by Kayt Sukel
“Whether we are reading about Mr. Grey, appreciating a young Mickey Rourke in 9 ½ Weeks or being horrified by the latest potential perp on Law & Order: SVU, we have, as a culture, hooked into the worst kind of BDSM stereotypes. We are conditioned to see those who practice the lifestyle as imbalanced, damaged and potentially violent. We believe they are incapable of building or maintaining successful sexual or emotional relationships. … In the book [50 Shades], Christian [Grey] is a solitary man -- and from accounts of his family very unhappy… However, data from the Australia sexual health study suggest that couples who indulge in BDSM and role-playing activities say they are happier than their non-BDSM counterparts. … If you are an avid Law & Order: SVU watcher, you've heard Dr. George Huang explain away kink with the "his brain isn't wired correctly" argument. While it may make good television, his explanations are a gross misunderstanding the science.”
Read the rest at:
A Loving Introduction to BDSM
The myth is that it’s abusive. Actually it’s about trust and
communication.
“The myth is that it’s abusive and weird—whips and chains!
Actually it’s about trust. When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the
result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic. … Many people consider BDSM perverted,
dehumanizing, or worse. But aficionados call it the most loving, nurturing,
intimate form of human contact and play. People can have sex without
conversation, negotiation, or any emotional connection. But in BDSM, the
players always arrange things in advance with clear, intimate
communication, which creates a special erotic bond.”
Read the rest at:
Excellent articles. I very much like the emphasis on trust. Something that is more difficult to culminate than any other aspect in a relationship.
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